It happened exactly a year ago. A messy affair and the subsequent messier breakup that had left me absolutely broken and disillusioned led me to what I'm about to tell you. As my luck had it, I met one of the very attractive seniors in my new college, who had been (and still is) in a 7-year old loving and very satisfying relationship. My good-looking senior was too sweet, caring and gave me the much 'loving' attention.

I confess, with every ounce of shame, that I was simply desperate for some love and affection. So even after knowing that I was cheating another person, we had an affair for months. We went on dates, held hands, kissed, had intimate conversations, I simply wasted my peace of mind. I don't know why I stooped down so low that I helped him in betraying another unknown human being.

According to my senior, I was special. We weren't supposed to acknowledge each other in public. We were to have secret conversations, secret meetings, lie to our friends and save our phone numbers in different names. Because our relationship was 'nameless, sexy and beautiful', it had no definition. He'd spend 5 days in the city with me, then spend the weekend with the much-in-love partner. The cycle went on and I was justifying my own actions in my head and to my friends with worthless logic.

I don't know how and when I came back to my senses and realized that I am worth more and I didn't want to be a cheater. Maybe, I was too engrossed in my need for a little love and care from someone that made me think that I could take anyone else's place, be a better lover, at the cost of my dignity. We are not in touch anymore.

I narrated my story because I want to confess the wrongs that I did to another (probably) good human being. I feel ashamed.

To my senior's partner,

I sincerely regret the fact that I helped your partner in deceiving your trust and love. I hold such suffocating guilt. I wish you the very best. I hope that God gives you the strength to absorb the truth and willpower to rise above the grief, if you ever get to know about your lover's continuous betrayal of your trust.

I choose not to reveal our genders because it will surely lead to a gender debate. We humans are hypocrite enough to do that. Be happy and please forgive me if the anger arises ever in your mind. I'm sorry.

-Your well-wisher always

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