This story is a part of me – 5 years of my life. I am writing this to make sure that no one else suffers like I did at one point in my life.

It all started when I was in the second semester. We liked each other very much and I was having the best days of my college life.

For 20 years old, everything seemed perfect to me. Soon the days passed by and so did the years.

After college, we both started working and everything seemed perfect until my parents found out about him. I was planning to tell them myself for a long time but I couldn’t gather the courage because he belonged to a different caste. It made me a bit hesitant.

When my family came to know about my relationship, I lived the worst days of my life. My parents had stopped talking to me and ignored me completely for almost one month. 

I was grounded. They didn’t allow me to go out and I even lost my job. My phone was snatched and broken into pieces. I had never imagined this would happen to me.

I was without phone and internet for the next eight months. I had no connection with the outside world – my friends and life all came to a standstill.

Those eight months were the worst time in my life. They still haunt me sometimes.

Finally, somehow I managed to convince my family that I can’t live like this and so they allowed me to go out. I started looking for a job immediately. I landed an offer which was one-third of my previous salary but I accepted it anyway because I thought it was a great opportunity to start from the scratch.

I started working and soon got in touch with my boyfriend again, after a year. It felt great to talk to him. Once again, I started to convince my family regarding him and they still weren’t ready. On the contrary, I felt that my boyfriend wasn’t valuing the emotional pressure I was facing and I was going through all of it alone to save our relationship.

I lost my job and my family went against me. They almost lost all hopes from me, but even then I stood by him and didn’t give up.

Trust me, I was so tired fighting with my family and him. And they both didn’t care about the hardship I was facing. I remembered once when I was telling him all about my emotional turmoil, he clearly asked me not to tell him all that.

He told me that after our marriage, I would have to move back to my hometown and leave the job. In fact, his parents wouldn’t even allow me to work in future.

I was broken and shattered to hear that. This wasn’t my plan at all. I didn’t study to stay at home all the time.

Meanwhile, my family was starting to accept my relationship but by that time, the differences between me and my boyfriend had grown. And I was having second thoughts about marrying him. I wasn’t sure about the guy who didn’t value me and my emotions. So, I decided to take a rest for some time and by then, I would also get to know if I was dating a coward or not.

I told him that he has to come to the city where I was working as I was not ready to go back and give another setback to my career. Not so surprisingly, he said no. He was concerned about his own career and family and said that he can’t make them suffer. That was it.

I asked him what I was doing then. I literally made myself suffer because of him. My family, my career – I was ready to give up everything. And he couldn’t even change the city for me. That broke me completely.

Even then, I made up my mind and I was going to accept him. But within 10 days, he got engaged to someone else.

If you ask me, I don’t regret where I tried to go back to him. It took me a year to come out of it. My relation with my family is back to stable and I can never be thankful enough to them for spotting the coward in him long before I did. I would have regretted my whole life with him.

I still regret putting my life at stake for a person like him.

My only suggestion to people is that don’t lose yourself in loving someone who doesn’t value you the same.

First, learn to love and value yourself.

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