I’m writing this to share about my childhood experience, and with the hope that parents learn to understand children sometimes.

I was a bright student when I was young. I was not that interested in coming 1st or 2nd in the class, or any rank, as a matter of fact. But my parents always used to pressurize me to come 1st. I was studious, but I was also interested in painting and other things.

So, whenever I used to finish my studies and take time out for painting, my father used to scold me to study instead, and ask me to forget all the other things. I used to cry a lot, but I was able to do painting in my school painting classes at least.

And whenever I used to come 2nd, I used to get a lot of scolding, and my parents wouldn’t sign my report card.

I remember this one particular incident. I was in 6th std, and I got very few marks on one subject, in one of our semi-annual exams. Actually, the whole class had marks like that, not that I was the one with a bad score. But I was so petrified to tell my parents about this, that I tried to kill myself. And there were two other girls with me too- one of them said that she knows of some tree leaves which kill people when taken by mouth, and we three actually ate them.

But thankfully, nothing happened to us.

Time went by, and I kept getting scolded at home. I couldn’t share this with anyone. Even my parents used to scold me to make friends with only high scoring students and not the low scoring ones. And when I moved away for my higher studies, an additional daily dose of scolding was given to me to learn to do the household chores.

So I had to top the class, and then I had to help my mom with household chores, or instead finish them for her. It's not that my parents didn’t love me, or I didn’t love them. They love me a lot and I do love them a lot too. But they have to understand that they were brought up in a different environment and it doesn’t mean that their children also have to be brought up the same way.

The world is changing and we have to adjust accordingly. Imagine the mental state of an 11-year-old child thinking and attempting to suicide for the failure of mere low marks, and not even failing.

I only wish I could have been more strong. I will never ever let my children get stomped under the cloud of my expectations.

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