To Everyone Who Read My Story: This Is How I Learnt To Live After Losing The Love Of My Life

SURBHI SINGH SURBHI SINGH in Life Is Tough on 23 May, 2017

Dear all,

I would like to thank you all for the love, support and encouragement you have given my son and me. The time you took out from your busy schedule to read about Dhruv and me, it all means a lot!!

When I first found out about Dhruv not being there in our lives, I was numb and blank. Every day and every second was very painful. Everything seemed unbelievable and I was hoping that I would soon wake up from the nightmare. I tried to filter my thoughts for my baby but I wasn’t that successful because it was a very tough time.

These tough situations make us and tell us who we really are and what we are made of. I never once questioned ‘why did it happen to me’ - I did not go around blaming anyone or hurting people. I did not go into depression, I held myself together.
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I strongly believe that we all have inherent strength in us which we at times forget because we tend to underestimate the strength we posses and instead we give more power to the negativity around us. I believed in myself. I told myself to stay calm, because a calm mind will always reason out better.

There is always a choice, I had the choice to either get depressed and make my son’s and my life miserable or to dust myself up and stand tall. I chose the latter!

We are often told by our elders to be independent. More often it denotes to work and be financially independent, which is great and important. But before that I would request all the women to be independent in their thought process. 

Before you choose any profession, build yourself! Build the goodness in your heart, let your spirit touch hearts, be balanced and take your decisions, be brave, treat yourself with a lovely time – your exclusive time, even if it's 10 minutes. It’s rejuvenating!

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Be confident even when you might feel like the odd one out. Walk tall even when you are 4’11 (like me!). Smile, laugh, giggle. Please remember 100 people, 100 perspectives and opinions, don’t shape your decisions by what Mr. and Mrs. XYZ think. Be humble. Don’t feel shy to ask for help and at the same time reach out to people who need help.

Count your blessings more often and you will realise you are the luckiest. “If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you will never have enough.” (– Oprah Winfrey)

Cross the road on your own, buy the groceries by yourself. Try. In no way am I saying to not listen to the advice of your loved ones but think no less of yourself. Beauty always lies in the eyes of the beholder.

Don’t get scared of any difficult situation. Keep reminding yourself of the principles that hold you together. We all falter, we all make mistakes. It’s alright, make amends! Do away with the negativity, the clutter, the blame game. Live well. Live freely. Sparkle.

Lastly, love your family and friends. Be thankful to them for their undying support – parents, children, in-laws, siblings, aunts and uncles.

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The void in my life won't be filled, the pain is immeasurable but at the same time, the pride is immense and faith is vast. 

With love and gratitude,

Surbhi.