It was in the year 2012, I started working. I was only 18 years old and asked a girl for a date and she said yes. I happened to know her for a few years. We never spoke with each other, but used to chat and exchange emails a lot.

We dated for a year and a half. It was a long distance relationship and next, I was at home for about 6 months, that was the happiest time of my life. I felt as if I owned everything in this world. I was young and my insecurities were taking over me. I was getting possessive. I was basically new to the world of dating and love while she was a lot more experienced than me.

My vacation was over and I was about to join my work. With time, our relationship started to hit rock bottom. At first, she reasoned her father not being okay with the relationship. The breakup drama was dragged for around 3 months.

In those 3 months, she shared some other reasons like lack of communication, my over possessiveness and also my insecurities that were the reason for which our relationship didn't last. In simple words, it was a new excuse every day.

It has been four years, but I couldn’t quite get over her. She was my first love and I was madly in love.

Recently she contacted me and tried to convince that she wanted to come back. She asked me about the past few years and was trying to find out about a girl whom I dated after her. I was very happy when I knew that she was coming back until that day when she told me that she was seeing some other guy and they were going around for three months.

The first day she gave me positive replies and gave me hope and the very next day, she started telling me that she loved this new guy.

 I was heartbroken but I decided to give it a few more months and see what happens next.

Amidst all despair, I’m still hopeful.

The next time she met me, she told me that her father would be furious if he gets to know that we are in touch again. I told her that I cannot be her secret lover. I asked, what made her come back to tell me all this; to that, she said that she wanted to help me move on and find closure. Closure? Now, after four years of leaving me stranded.

I decided to stop texting her forever. I want to try and live my life with a positive outlook. I want to focus more on my career and make my life better. I want to achieve my dreams without thinking about how my personal life would be. I neither have any expectations nor any idea, where my love life will take me 10 years down the road.

I have enormous hope and I think that is the beauty of life. No matter what happens and where we are, in whichever situation it may be; there are things like family and friends who keep us moving and inspire us to live life to the fullest.

I am grateful to my family and my friends for being my support system during this period of emotional turmoil.

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