My Father Abused My Mother And I, But We Were Too Scared To Leave Him...

So, I was born into a joint family. Everything used to be perfect, in my opinion, but not in reality.

My mom was married to this man, who is my so-called father. He was good for the first years of their marriage but turned out to be a devil as time passed. He used to brutally beat my mom in front of me and my brother. We couldn’t help her as we were terrified.

At that time, I always thought that this was what real families were. My perception of a family was totally delusional. I thought that in every family, people behave like this.

I remember when I was 5, I woke up in the morning to my mom’s scream. I was scared.

There she was, lying on the marble floor; her left eye was bleeding. I was so scared. That day, the 5-year-old me knew that this person did not deserve to be my father. From that day on, I hated him. But we had to keep quiet as my mom was helpless. She was terrified of that man.

I grew up in a violent home. My father took my childhood away. He used to touch me inappropriately and used to order me to kiss him. I never liked it, but I couldn’t say no as he would hit my mom.

I remember he used to ask me to lie down on him so that he could feel my body. One day, when I refused, he spit the left-out chewing tobacco on my face.

At first, I thought it was okay, but as I grew up, I knew it wasn’t. It was clear molestation. I told my mom, and she couldn’t do anything about it. She had no money to move out, and no one was ready to help her.

I was 13, and day by day, I started hating that man more and more. I was so devastated that I refused to enter his room. I was so angry that I wanted to kill him.

I remember in 2016, I was extremely depressed. I was on the verge of committing suicide. It was 8 o'clock, but then the doorbell rang. I opened the door and saw my mom. That’s when I realised that I could not leave this lady alone with the devil. I have to fight this battle for her.

I was losing my faith in God. But one day, when my mom was able to collect enough money, she said that she wanted to move out with my brother and me. That’s when he became all sad and pretended as if he would be depressed if we left him. But the truth was, he liked to control us. He loved to hit my mom, bully my brother, and molest me. That is why he didn’t want us to leave.

We were going to leave the next morning. I told my brother to sleep with Mom so that he could not hit her again. My brother was awake all night to protect Mom.

The very next morning, at 6, my father punched my mom in the back and grabbed her neck. He was strangling my mom, and that’s when my brother pushed him away. My grandparents finally told him to leave the house, and then he left.

I still live with my grandparents, my mom, and my brother.

My so-called father didn’t even care to take responsibility for his own parents. There he is, somewhere in Delhi, and my mom still has nightmares about him. She is still terrified; she never wants to face him in her entire life.

Currently, we are living in Chandigarh. I just completed my +2. Someday, I hope that things could have been different.

Somewhere I wanted a perfect family where my dad would come home from work bringing me lots of gifts and would love me like a princess.

I have been dating for more than a year. My boyfriend has fulfilled all my princess treatment wishes; he guides me like a dad, protects me like a brother, and loves me infinitely.

My brother also treats me like his own daughter and gets me everything that I wish for.

It was extremely difficult for me to go through all the uncomfortable feelings and insecurities I felt in my body and about myself.

But now, I am finally over it, and I have so much more to cherish in life. I am still scared, though, I never want to face it again.

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BAKKAR. CHAI. SUTTA

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