My family has three members, my mother, my younger brother and I. My dad passed away when I was in ninth grade. Having been raised by a single mom, we’ve had to go through many challenges and financial difficulties. Our relatives and this society failed to support us but my grandpa stood by us during the tough times.
I missed my dad terribly and felt unlucky to not have him around.
When I was able to stand on my feet, I managed to find a good job to support my family. That's when my family started looking for a match for me. I was just 25 but had been through a tough time in life, hence, they thought that getting me married would bring some joy in my life. I received many alliances but rejected all of them.
Because I needed a partner who was easy going, could understand my family, and was also someone I could enjoy life with.
It all started 7 years back when we received a match through my aunt and uncle. The girl’s family was looking for a groom like me, from an easy going family settled in Bangalore.
After all the elders gave their consent, we decided to move ahead with the proposal. At the same time, I got to know that she was working in the same organization as me, which became another strong reason for this match. I tried looking for her through the company’s internal network but wasn’t able to locate her.
Almost 3 months later, we decided to visit her house with our family members and friends. Her family greeted us warmly. I was surprised to see the girl as both of us worked in the same department and had co-incidentally joined the organization on same day.
I was also happy to see her because she was a straightforward person who always said the right things.
She was a bit of a tomboy who always wore only jeans and t-shirts. This was the first time that I’d seen her in a chudidar. The meeting went well and both the families were happy and gave their consent to proceed with the wedding. Suddenly, one of her uncles expressed an abnormal demand.
They needed a groom who could move in with the bride's family after marriage as she was the only daughter and couldn’t stay away from her family.
We were taken aback by this condition. We rejected it and left their place.
Everyone in my family was depressed because they liked her but her family’s demand was shocking. A week passed by and everyone forgot about the incident. But I was a little uncomfortable because we would see each other at least once a day in office.
So, I decided to talk to her and get rid of these embarrassing situations at work. I met her during one of our breaks and told her to ignore what had happened at home.
I suggested that we be good friends at work and move on with our lives.
After a day or two, she messaged me saying that her dad wanted to speak to me about something, which she was not aware of. She asked for my mobile number, and though I wasn't sure about all this, I shared my number.
Her dad called me the very next day and expressed an interest in meeting me, though he did not share the reason. We decided to catch up in a cafe in common place. I did not tell any of my family members about this meeting because I was not sure about the reason and thought of informing them only after meeting him.
When I met him, he hugged me, without saying a single word.
I was extremely touched by his move and remained mum for a few minutes. The first thing he told me was that he was very happy with me, my character and my family and wanted to connect with us again.
He explained that his family’s demand was a natural one as their daughter was close to everyone. They had received several outstation alliances for her but rejected them because of the same reason. But since I stayed in the same city, just 10 kms away, he was fine with this match. Since the demand had come from his elder brother, he could not refuse it during our previous visit, but now he was fine with it.
I was moved by his words and could literally see my dad in him.
I told him that I would have to speak to my family but he was so sure that he started calling me his son-in-law. I was confused but was also convinced that he was right. When I spoke to my family, they warned me that this was just a clever move to get us married. Her family could very well express the same demand post the wedding. But I tried to convince them.
After 3 months, my family agreed and our engagement was finally fixed. Everything was going as per plan, but something unexpected was waiting for us.
Her dad was very emotional during the engagement and spoke to us as though we were married.
After the function, we came back home and were having a family get-together. Since I was tired, I went to bed early. Somewhere around 11:30, my mom woke me up and said that we had to immediately go to the girl’s house.
She did not mention the reason but I was sure that something wasn’t right. They were worried that I would get shocked, so no one said anything till we reached her house.
When we reached there, I got the shock of my life.
Her dad had passed away a few hours back and they had laid him on a table in front of her house. I was completely shattered, not knowing how to respond.Her father was the only reason that I’d reconsidered this wedding.
I saw my dad in him and now, I’d lost him too.
From then on, I stood by their family and they too supported me in the same way. Some of her family members were not happy about this marriage because a death in the family is a bad omen.
However, her mom and she stood strong as this was her dad's last wish and they wanted to fulfill it.
My family was concerned about them and did not want to let them down unless they chose to call off the wedding. But both the families were happy with each other and decided to proceed. We would help their family at all times, as a result of which both the families were united much before the wedding.
We decided to get married within a year of her father's death anniversary, as was the custom. We opted for a simple wedding in the temple. Everything went well and we started life as a happy couple.
My family pampered her a lot, as she was the first bride in our family.
She did not know any household work and was still a tomboy, but it never bothered us. When she worked late shifts, my mom would feed her as soon as she reached home. I often scolded my mom to at least teach her to make coffee but my wife was never interested in learning any household chores. Yet, there were no issues between us.
After 10 months of our marriage, came the month of Ashada, as per the Tamil calendar.
As per custom, a newlywed bride has to stay at her mom's house until the end of this month.
She had packed her bags with pretty much all her stuff. When the day to go to her mom’s house arrived, I went to drop her and stayed there till late, as this was the first time that we were staying separately after marriage.
Things were going well and we would talk, text and also meet in office. After about two weeks, she told me that she wanted to quit her job and spend time with her mother. I agreed and she submitted her resignation.
We would still talk and text and I’d also visit her on weekends. During this time, my mom spoke to an astrologer to check the tarot of our entire family and seek advice if I could start a new business.
The astrologer said that that there was a mismatch in our star signs.
So we’d have to perform a puja to get rid of the negativity. My mom informed her and everyone in the family about this. She was going to return the following weekend but she called me and said that her uncle was not well and she wanted to visit him along with her mother. I agreed and told her that I’d pick her next week.
They left for her uncle's house and their numbers were either unreachable or switched off for almost three days.
We were extremely worried about their well-being and started making calls to all her family members and friends but no one had any information. By then, I also sent my cousin to the hospital where her uncle was most likely hospitalized but nothing helped.
They returned after 3 days and said there was no network and so they did could not make any calls. I got angry on hearing their response and asked them why they couldn’t contact us from someone else’s mobile. But my wife’s response was a little rude.
I started noticing a change in her behavior but I assumed it was because I’d scolded her and she was angry with me.
I texted her that I’d pick her up on Saturday but she replied that her uncle wanted to speak to me. The next day I called her aunt and she mentioned that as per custom, they have to get her back like a newly wedded bride but since she as busy this week, they would come the following week. I agreed and kept waiting but her aunt never turned up.
When I texted my wife, she didn’t respond. I was worried and waited for three weekends before ultimately visiting her place. When I asked her to come with me, she said that she couldn’t go without her aunt's consent. I was confused with this behavior but decided to wait. I called her aunt again and she kept delaying for almost 3 weeks!
All my family members were extremely doubtful about their intentions.
I’d waited enough and finally decided to visit her aunt’s house, which is in a different district along. When I reached there along with my uncle, their real demand came to light. Her aunt said that my wife wanted to stay with her family.
I couldn’t agree to this demand and decided to speak to my wife before taking any decisions. I went to my wife’s house but she remained locked in her room and sent her mom to speak to me about changing my mind and staying with them. Her behavior surprised me!
I wanted to speak to her but her mom said that if I didn’t agree to their demand, they would file a dowry harassment complaint against me!
My uncle was shocked and told me not to say anything. We left from there in great pain. My family decided to speak to her family and arranged for a meeting. By then, her mother had taken her mobile and I didn’t get a single response to my calls or messages.
My family had suspected this and decided to seek legal help. The advocate advised us against approaching the court. Instead, we sent them a letter from our advocate asking her to respond within 30 days.
We ended up waiting for almost 3 months without any response! Ultimately, I had no choice but to approach the Family Court seeking Restitution of Conjugal Rights.
When they received the Court's notice, they filed a case of domestic violence against me with some false claims.
The case went on for 2 years and the final verdict stated that it was a false case filed without any justified grounds. Then she filed for divorce, asking for alimony of 10 lakhs, which was also rejected by the Court.
5 more years have gone by and now, the Court has finally asked her to return to her matrimonial home within 2 months from the notice date. It’s been a week since the Court order but I still haven't heard from her.
I don’t know whether she will come back or not.
If she does, things will get really uncomfortable for everyone because she harassed us for almost 7 years with all these Court proceedings.
But if she does not come back, what will I do? How will I stay in this confused world? I will definitely lose my faith in all women.
Now, I’m just helplessly counting the days to hear from her.