I got into a relationship post my first job. He had made real efforts to propose me and I accept I was irrevocably in love with him. After a year of our fairy tale courtship period, things changed - with him ignoring me, getting jittery over trivial things etc. Simple expectations like response to messages was termed as ‘too much of an expectation’.

Though I distanced myself from him, I couldn’t do away with the relationship all together as I loved him dearly and he too wanted to continue. With time we became strangers who were together just to give company to each other over weekends. His prolonged callousness was hurting me and I spoke to my sister about it and her first response was "You deserve better".

I decided to break up and though he apologized and promised to mend things, I parted ways with him.

My sister is in the armed forces and a while ago she introduced me to one of her batch mates, who apparently was a stud every girl wished to have as her prince charming. I started interacting with this ideal loving, caring and understanding guy and all seemed well in the first month. He was decent and demonstrated mannerisms of the armed forces. Despite the fact that we were not in a relationship, we spoke for long hours and enjoyed each other’s company.

Once while we were chatting, he texted saying that he imagined me stripped and having sex with him. I was shaken and told him not to discuss such things with me. Though he apologized after a few days, while on a video chat once he removed his pants all of a sudden and said something really obscene.

I felt disgusted and I disconnected the call. When confronted on whether he would treat his sisters in a similar way, he apologized repeatedly, confessing his love for me. Things fell silent for a month and just when I had convinced myself that all was well, he called me late in the night, abusing and uttering sexual advances towards me. I was shattered and disconnected the call not knowing what to do.

I spoke with my sister the next day, explaining all that had happened over the months. “He has no class and is the cheapest person I’ve come across”. She got on a call with him and humiliated him for such a behavior. He tried connecting with me, sent messages expressing regret over his actions but I was done with it as I couldn’t get grounds on which I could trust him again. I severed all ties, blocked him from all my channels.

But what lingers in my mind is - was I at fault or had I expected too much?

Both the incidents have left a scar on my heart and I’m clueless whether I would be able to love anyone ever again.

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