Love is something every individual craves for. It could be from their parents, friends, or a life partner. Perhaps, I was the unlucky one to miss love in every form.

I belong to a middle-class family. My love story started 5 years ago. We both were in the same college, where I met him through a mutual friend. I instantly fell for him after our first talk.

He had a girlfriend who died of a brain tumor. Within five days of our introduction, we got into a relationship because of our friends.

Without knowing each other, a relationship with a stranger was not at all on my page.

Days rolled by, I started loving his imperfections and he became my ‘Mr. Perfect.’

He had shown me his ex-girlfriend's photo who was dead now and shared all about his past. I did the same. Since then, our relationship got stronger.

As I knew the feeling of a breakup, I made sure to pamper him with all my love and care. I only had food when he did, I laughed with him, and cried whenever he did.

One fine day, that dead girl who was his ex-girlfriend was standing right in front of me and I could feel her breathing. I couldn't hold my strength. After speaking to his childhood friends, I got to know that she was his classmate and he just lied to me about his ex-girlfriend. I forgave him.

As days passed by, he started to hit and taunt me. But that was just his way of expressing his love to me.

Whenever we met, he used to hug and kiss her. He assured me that he treated her like his sister. It was disturbing and when I questioned him about it, he told me, “We are childhood friends and I loved her, When I was about to confront her, she tied me a rakhi. That’s how we started sharing the relationship of being a brother and sister.”

He used to think about her all the time. I could feel his love for her. I felt shattered and devastated. So one fine day, I shouted at him and told him how upset I was. He started being good to me after the incident.

I couldn’t remember any single incident where I was happy with him. But even then, I stayed with a hope that he would change and turn mature one day.

We got graduated and I was placed in an e-commerce company whereas he got into aviation. My parents knew that I was in a relationship with him. And like a fool, I even introduced him to my friends and relatives as my life partner. I never asked anything from him except for marrying me. His parents knew nothing about us.

We completed 4 years of our relationship, and that’s when I asked him to introduce me to his parents and talk about our wedding.

It took him 2 years to convince his parents. I didn't know anything about his family because I trusted him blindly and so never bothered to get to the roots. It was almost 5 and half years, and he never got me any news from his family. Neither a yes nor a no. He left me hanging in between.

I gave up on waiting and called his father to at least let him know about our existing relationship. I wanted to know about the wedding plan which was supposed to be done later as were only 23 years old then. 

His dad said to me, "You guys are not eligible for the wedding. You should both only remain friends and nothing more. Please don’t cross your limits with my son, you are a non-vegetarian and we are not. Don’t keep any hopes that my son will marry you.”

When I told him all about it, he asked me for some more time.

It never ended for him; he kept asking for more and more time.

This time I took the issue strongly and asked my dad to have a talk with his parents. My dad agreed.

They spoke and his dad exclaimed, "This is not the right time to get married. Your daughter is the one who is forcing my son to marry her. Please tell her to be in her limits with my son (no physical contact). My son is a very good person. He will marry only after 4 years but I cannot guarantee you that it will be with your daughter only."

My dad disconnected the call without uttering a word to him. And I discussed this with him; he told me that he would be happy with whatever decision I made. And since then, there was no call or text from his side.

I never knew this is the price you pay for being loyal to someone, for loving them. And when the relationship gets over, the girl gets blamed and her virginity is questioned.

How could I give him a second chance again? Nothing would have changed even if I did. His family would never respect me.

When he couldn’t stand by me through our hard phase, how can I trust him for our future together? Even now I don't know how much exactly he earns, where his parents live, where they work and how much wealth he possesses. Because I loved him, not his assets.

And thus, I chose to walk out of his life.

This is my lost love story. I have no hopes left that there will ever be a man who can love me truly.

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