Emotional Trauma family support new marriage Gender Norms gender equality Cultural Expectations Toxic Society INDIANWOMAN daughter in law

It's 2024, Why Aren't Women Standing Up For Themselves?

( words)
*For representational purpose only.
I want to question all the women.

Women's empowerment has been a prioritised concern in this modern era. So many legal provisions, policies, and programmes are being introduced at the national level. Yet…why do we never stand up for ourselves?
Do we ever realise the most common form of abuse or exploitation we face every day? Yes, I am talking about verbal abuse being faced by all the females. As daughters, we are being nurtured with care and affection. 

Every daughter dreams of a life where she is nurtured with care and affection as she leaves the home after marriage, where she spends one important phase of her life. But what she gets is far from reality. Most of the females are being taunted by their parents and even not permitted to visit their homes after marriage. 
Social stigmas and a lack of awareness restrict our ability to report the exploitation. Being the elder daughter of my family, I always feel what role a father plays in a daughter's life. My father was my role model, my teacher, my mentor, my mentor and the most important person in my life. 

When I got married, I faced the emotional trauma of being separated from my family, especially my father. But things changed after marriage, and this is perhaps the condition of most of the girls in society. 

As per our social norms, I was told not to be so emotional as, after marriage, my home was changed, and so were my priorities.
After a few years of marriage, everything changed. I managed to live without my father and talk to him whenever I missed him. 

The love and affection I expected from my husband were far from reality. But as part of my destiny, I compensated. But destiny planned something shocking for me. I came to know that my father was suffering from a deadly disease and had his days numbered. 

It was an emotionally devastating blow to realise that the person I relied on the most, my pillar of strength, would no longer be by my side. At that time, the one shoulder I needed the most, my husband, was not there. 
I felt helpless beyond my imagination. I lost my father, and I had been told not to shed tears all the time, as it would bring bad omens home. After I lost my father, a new phase of my life began where I faced constant taunts regarding my mother, sisters, and brother. 

Unbearable abuse, which perhaps is the right of a male, inflicted pain on me every moment. I used to miss my childhood, my father and my family, my only recourse became tears– I only wept.
Now, I am blessed with two sons, and my life revolves around verbal abuse for my family and my kids. That is the case for every second female. 

Some females show boldness to speak, and some remain mum. Real empowerment will be when all women are respected and dignified.
Laws can do it, but only changing our mindsets would bring real empowerment.

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