I saw my parents fight daily ever since I was three. My father left us when I was ten, and that was the day I decided I would never get married. For me, all men were ass****s, and I could not trust anyone, because that was what I had seen at my home since forever.
I didn't have a great connection with my mom and sister. I grew up with all these thoughts just left to my imagination, without connecting it to the real world. I was all alone when I grew up, I didn’t even have any friends to share the things I was going through.
I was waiting for someone to come and hold me tight and say "I am there for you always," but that never happened because I was an introvert.
One day, I realized no one will come to me unless I was open for it, and hence, I started making a lot of new friends. I started meeting a lot of new people, and my perception towards boys had changed quite a lot. In my first relationship with a guy, I was not into the love-dovey love like most couples. I didn’t find myself being in love, so it ended within six months.
I encountered the world of alcohol. I was just trying to keep myself happy with whatever I had when I met this girl. We soon became best friends, and now I had someone to share my secrets with. I got so attached to her that I would update her on each and everything I did.
For the first time in my life, I felt that someone was born for me too.
I would be dying to spend time with her, and I couldn’t understand why. She was out of a very bad relationship, and that made us very close. One day, while we were drunk, we made love. I knew I loved her, and the feelings were mutual. Till then, we were just best buddies and after that, I started connecting with her much more than before.
Next day, we could not face each other. I didn't know what her reaction towards it was. Somehow, she would ignore talking about it. Time passed, and she got into a relationship with another guy and I was left all alone, at the same place where I started.
She started ignoring me, and I know that the guy she is dating is not good for her. All I want is for her to be happy, and I can clearly see that she is not happy with him.
She is trying to find her love in him when I am here who can take care of her, and understand what’s going on in her mind with just a look in her eyes.
All because I love her deeply, but she cannot see that love. We’re still good friends, but I am unable to find my love.