Can someone tell me why we call a woman "home-wrecker" if she stands against violence, injustice or the irrational behaviour of her in-laws?
I was a happy go lucky girl, and I got married at an early age of 21. I was born to a middle-class family in the City of Nawabs. As a single child, I was pampered and loved. My parents had separated before I was born and I was raised in my mama's house.
Even though mom was a single parent, she did her best to provide everything I needed. She is the only person in my life who understands me like a friend while still giving me parental guidance. She is my mom and dad, both. My whole life, I've seen her manage everything single-handedly. She not just the world's best mother, she's an extraordinary leader. She's inspiring and I love her.
The two of us only have each other. And I've wanted to be there for her in her good and bad times. But I forgot that girls in India have a different destiny.
She wished to see me married and settled in my life, and I agreed. It was the year 2013 when the worst time of my life started. I had to go through hell. I met a man whom a relative introduced, and prima facie, he seemed nice, educated and very organized.
Our parents approved and fixed our marriage. We were wed in a few months. The first 2-3 months went smoothly. He never expressed his love or affection to me, rather he was quiet and always maintained distance. However, he would always express his conservative nature with anger or irritability. He didn't allow me to go out of the house. I was only supposed to go out with his mother. He never took me out with him due to his reserved nature.
As days passed, his anger seemed to grow and other members of the house also started showing their true colours. On the top of all this, all the household work was supposed to be done by me and I was okay with it; I didn't know why but my mother-in-law didn't stop there. She started insulting me in front of her relatives but I remained silent. I started cooking, doing everything, but nothing pleased her. She always taunted me by saying that I've brought bad luck to her son and everyone was doomed to be with me for the rest of their lives.
Whenever I tried to speak about this with my husband, he abused me in return, and asked me to never compare myself with his mother. According to him, biwi matlab _________.
He ordered me to work more to make her and other family members happy. I was upset but accepted his orders and concentrated on managing our home and hearts but all I was left with is her sarcastic comments and constant taunts.
I was exhausted. I lost my identity and the ability to believe in myself. During the initial days, I cried on the phone and told my mother everything. She always stood with me, but within 3 years of marriage, she passed away.
I was shocked, broken, and shattered but my husband and in-laws didn't stop there. They all took advantage of my situation and started torturing me more. According to them, women are supposed to do household work and to bear all torture.
In the meantime, I also got pregnant but never got any attention from my husband or love from my mother-in-law during my pregnancy. Whenever I feel low or sick or unable to cook food, no one gave me anything to eat. I remained hungry all day.
After delivering a baby girl, no one really took care of us. I handled parenting and home simultaneously but my husband never felt pity on my situation, and whenever I tried to raise my voice, he would beat me.
It's been 7 years and I remember every wound I had. After years, I realized that no one was going to help me ane so I decided to do something about it myself.
In 2019, I started my studies and stopped doing all the extra work and threatened to file an FIR against them if they continued harassing me. I don't listen to them much and live my life for my daughter.
Now I don't care about them and do what I like to. Me and my daughter share a very good bond. I spend more time with her and don't care about my husband's attention or his love. I hope one day after completing my B. Ed, I will get a good job or become financially independent. But I never want my daughter to go through the same situation that I did. I want to make her financially independent first, then only ask her how she wants to spend the rest of her life, and with whom.