I've Loved You All My Life And Now You're Getting Married: My Prince Charming, This Is How It Feels

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 7 July, 2017

I was 3 when we first met. You were the prince charming I had always dreamt of. I have grown up all my years admiring you and falling in love with you was something inevitable, something that was meant to be.

Every day was like a fairy tale, with you around. Every time I looked at you, I had just one wish- “let this moment freeze in here forever”. So intense were my feelings for you.

We never indulged in exchanging words of love, yet we hugged and kissed innumerable times. We were always on the lookout for an opportunity to meet each other and spend some time with each other. Meeting you alone meant silent long hugs and few assuring kisses, yet we never acknowledged our love for each other.

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Every time you kissed me, I believed it was a promise of togetherness for a lifetime. I was looking forward to that one moment where you would get down on your knees and profess your love for me.

They say, “When you want something, the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”, yet no amount of wanting or yearning on my part could make you do it.

Years flew by. When I was 19, I decided it was time to tell you how I really felt about you. Mustering courage, I told you how much I loved you and how your mere presence made me go weak in the knees. I told you how being in your arms felt, the sense of security and happiness it filled me with. But your swift response was “Concentrate On Your Studies for now”. I assumed it to be a subtle “No”.

But then everything changed all of a sudden. You stopped talking to me and started avoiding me and that broke me a little inside. It scared me to death-I was scared of losing you. I felt I had screwed up everything I had with you. I clearly remember the day I came to you with tears in my eyes and said “I am sorry for what I told you, we can be just the way we were earlier.”

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It was on that day, after several months that you held me in your arms and showered me with warm kisses. I didn’t know what to make of it but I didn’t want to let you go and was happy that I was back in your arms again.

I made up my mind to never come back to you with this proposal again. I couldn’t afford to go through the same excruciating pain again. I was happy the way things were even though you never bothered to name our relationship or give it some sort of recognition. I didn’t know your exact reasons for not accepting me, but I respected your decision and believed it was for the good for both of us. I knew that your family was the major reason that prevented you from taking our relation to the next level. I also knew that you were struggling with your career and it was a Herculean task to convince your family about your choice of career.

I always wanted to let you know that you were not alone, I wanted you to realise that even if the world falls apart, I would be by your side. But you were like that formidable force that restricted me from hovering anywhere close to you.

Overtime our families drifted apart. You never tried to keep in touch with me. I had a million unanswered questions but I convinced myself not to find faults in you because I loved you with all of my heart, a love that was pure and sublime.

Today, when I am 23 years old, I received the biggest blow of my life, “Your Wedding Card”. I remember going weak in my knees and it took me a few minutes to regain my senses as I held it in my hand that day. Realization dawned- I am losing you forever! You never promised me anything yet losing you like this was something I had not imagined even in my worst nightmare.

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It has been days and only my wet pillows keep me company on lonely nights. Today as I write about it here with endless tears, you are getting ready for your “Big Day” tomorrow, unaware of the pain you are causing me.

I loved you with all of my heart. I can only wish the best of this world for you. One last time, as I let you go, I want tell you how much I love you. You have made me a better person today. I have learned to respect people for what they are, because of you. 

You don’t owe me anything. Irrespective of how far I go, I will always have a piece of my soul left at the place we last met and I promise you that I will gather all my courage to put together all the broken pieces of my heart and move on. I will move on to be a happy person soon. This is the only gift I can give to you and me on your Big Day.

Have a blissful married life ahead my prince charming!