I joined a renowned corporate house as a lead analyst. Being part of the production team, I started reporting to Raghav, the senior manager.

He was one of the most handsome guys on the floor known for his snobbish behaviour but worth falling for.

We hardly conversed other than work. A couple of months passed, we gradually started going on lunch breaks together. He would often make an excuse that he had some work near the place where I stayed and offered me to pick or drop. I loved the small gifts & the little gestures that he would surprise me with. By now, even I was infatuated with him. After few months, he told me that I resembled his ex-girlfriend a lot.

The way I casually brushed my hair with fingers, the black colour nail paints and the thick multi-colour bangles, all reminded him of her.

He even showed me her pics. Astonishing, his ex and I had quite similar features too. We started going out on casual dates, no one in the office knew what all was brewing between us.

During quarter ends, we were required to log in even on weekends to manage the time-sensitive deliverables. Once he called me to the office on a Saturday and to my surprise, he was the only one on the floor. We greeted each other, talked about work, and started making some lunch plans. Randomly, he asked me if I had ever been to the server room. I was like ‘no but why!’ Just followed him to the end of the floor where it was located. He asked me to step inside. What happened next was something I had never thought of in the wildest of my dreams. He held me firmly by my waist against the door and started smooching. I shuddered, speechless but reciprocated simultaneously. Since I did not refrain, it was like my consent to him, and he began to feel my boobs. I too put my hands around his shoulders. But soon, I held myself from crossing the lines; I left the place without exchanging a word. Things were normal from the following Monday; we did not discuss the incident.

Deep within I felt happy & desired but didn’t know how to react; he too behaved as if nothing much had happened.

A couple of months went by and then came the year-end reporting deadlines. Most of us were asked to stretch on weekends and complete all the pending stuff. Since I had no backlogs, I didn’t turn up on Saturday. Raghav called up and asked me to assist him on an urgent deliverable. I rushed to the office but what had happened last time lingered in my mind. We quickly discussed the plan of action and shared our piece of tasks. While the staff was out for lunch, I preferred to stay back and complete the assignment. Raghav came to my desk and asked if I wanted to share some pizza.

I looked into his eyes and asked if he had ever been to the server room.

We smiled and knew what was to follow. We stepped in the server room, I just closed my eyes, and we began to smooch like crazy. In no time, I was topless, and he was kissing me all over. The very day we went out on a dinner date, and he proposed; I was on cloud nine.

We began to spend a lot of time together on weekends.

He visited my flat, and we made out on every visit. We were so involved with each other that we hardly cared about anything else. A year passed in bliss, and I kept persuading to take things further to our families. He called up my parents, the families met, and we had the Roka ceremony.

We got busy with the shopping list; I left my job and went to my home-town for wedding preparations.

Hardly a week before the wedding, he told me that his ex was back and it would be a disaster if he married me instead. He said that his ex was pursuing graduation in the USA and was back in India. They had earlier decided to take a break from the relationship as it would be long distance, more like a burden. And since she was back in town, they agreed to get back.

In no time, he ended the two-year-old relationship for his ex. 

It was so painful that I felt ashamed of myself. And my parents faced the embarrassment from relatives and society. I was devastated, questioned his fidelity, and doubted my values and what not. I was treated like a piece of entertainment to be utilised when he was on a ‘break’ from his previous relationship. I have lost trust in so-called ‘love’. The incident has changed my outlook towards people, relationship, and life. I can’t dare to think about getting into a new relationship.

I am still a fool to recall and cherish the days spent together instead of burying it back in times.

My parents want me to get married. I wonder how it will seem to be someone else’s girlfriend and be somebody’s wife.

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