Confession Relationships friendship Dating unconditional love one-sided love true love

I Was Her One Side Lover Till She Made Me Realise What Was Really Wrong With Me

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

The day I saw her, the classroom was crowded enough. The newly admitted boys, including me, were unknown to each other, but still blabbered over one another.

I was sitting two benches away from her. At first I wasn’t able to see her face, but a flickering wavy light illuminated from her hair. When I caught her first glimpse, she was talking to another classmate.

Somehow heedlessly I heard their conversation. The other girl introduced herself and the next words she spoke were about asking her name. I got the sense of hearing her words and it turned out to be the first thing I got to know about her. College life started with her name in conjunction and with her smile in my memory. I used to get weak in my knees whenever she walked in front of me. But somehow I was addicted to that feeling of weakness.

I always used to stare at her. The beginning was not so favorable for me. She started hating me for staring at her. I know it wasn’t good to stare like that, but I couldn’t stop myself from doing that. Also, even she should have understood how she was pulling me always towards her. I was deeply attracted towards her. I loved her expressions, the way she moved and her smile.

One thing that was for sure was, I never planned my future with her. It was not like I didn’t love her, but I didn’t expect much. Every day when I saw her, I saw it as a new beginning. She was always a new story for me.

One unfortunate day, a miserable fight happened between us. We argued with each other. For me it was no less than a disaster. It ruined everything I had for her. I wasn’t feeling good at all.

How could I do this to her and to myself? The classroom turned a dead place for me. None of my friends dared to discuss about the matter with us. For sometime we both were too embarrassed to face anyone. As for me, I felt destroyed. I was thinking about it over and over again. I don’t know how she felt, but for me it was destruction.

I got myself a new bench and sat there. My heart was beating twice its rate. I was too scared. I wanted to stop thinking but my mind wasn’t able to find a suitable solution to make things go back to normal again.

I was angry at myself, and regretted terribly what I did. All that was going in my mind was the way I used to stare at her. I couldn't get over that scene in my head. I didn't know how to tell her that it was harmless.

I had made a blunder. After every few seconds I could see her face. I'd had enough. I got up from my seat and stepped towards her. I had gained some courage to say “sorry” to her. She saw me coming towards her. With no hesitation she came forward. My tone faltered while I was saying sorry for everything that had happened. She just smiled and asked me to calm down. I felt relaxed. I took a deep breath and realized I had tears in my eyes. I let that day pass.

Oh! I hear the phone ringing and here she is. Don’t take it as a twist of fate. I called her myself before I started thinking about her and now a grin could be seen on my face. I received her call and we started chatting. A simple sorry that changed my life. 

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