I Wanted To Be The Perfect Mother To My Son And That Made Me The Worst Daughter

Antara Majumder Antara Majumder in Life Is Tough on 11 July, 2017

I am a Mother. My son means the life to me today. His success delights me and failure pains me to no end. "Mumma, I did not get a medal this time." My teary 7-year-old looked at me for support.

I held him tight in my arms, kissed his forehead and said, "Don’t worry Champ! We will make it next time." Rik, had always been a brilliant student. Last year he secured an International rank in SOF Olympiad. We proudly displayed his gold medal and were hoping for a brilliant show this time as well!

Upon returning home, my husband Vikrant also did not show any signs of frustration. We ate our dinner together and chit-chatted, making an effort to act like all was normal. We had to make sure not to let down the spirit of our darling son. I understand the importance of positive parenting in bringing up a child.

A daily researcher on Google on child psychology and behavior; I never wanted the poor soul to compete in a rat race. I have, with practice, learnt to display the right behavior. In fact, we, as parents practice the appropriate approach, genuinely. 

Just before hitting bed, I realised I had three missed calls from dad. Upon calling him back immediately, I was told by him about mom’s ailing health. He was tensed. I tried to talk to him and pacify him somehow. He was complaining about mom’s heart problem since a month now. Their local doctor visited and suggested some medications, which did not seem to help. I promised to visit them over the weekend. My parents reside in a small town. A distance of nearly three hours’ drive. A distance I could not travel. 

Rik had his painting class over the weekend. Hence, I could not make it to my parents'. Multiple weekends passed. I was busy accompanying my son to his painting classes, yoga workshops. In the meanwhile, I convinced a cousin, who stayed near my parents’ house to assist them through the medical procedure. Although Vikrant took care of all the expenses, we could not make my way to them. 

One fine morning I received the dreaded phone call from my cousin. He informed that my mother suffered a heart attack last night and is currently in the ICU. She should be moved to the closest metropolis for better treatment.

I went numb. I could only blame myself for this situation. I was so busy raising my son that I forgot my mother is the one who raised me, and helped me be what I am today. How could I be so careless! Tears rolled down my cheeks. God, please let my mom sustain till I reach her. Please give me a second chance, a chance to become a daughter again. 

I forgot I was also a daughter. My responsibilities towards my parents is as much as mine towards my son. As is said, "While growing Older, we forget our parents are getting older too!”