I don't regret what we shared then. Neither do I wish for us to be together again.
It’s been a very long time since we were together, we don’t even talk regularly anymore, but recently I have been thinking about you…a lot and I want to tell you that I miss you. Isn’t it really weird that the person I thought I knew the most is now just a stranger? A stranger with so many memories.
Quite often, I do not even think about you. It’s been so long but sometimes… I do, and then I just push that thought away, somewhere into a hidden cave deep within. Sometimes, I see a couple holding hands, doing things that we used to do and nostalgia strikes again, and I break down.
After all who knew me better than you?
Who knew that the Belgian chocolate flavored ice cream from Haagen Dazs was all I needed when I was PMSing. Who knew that anything above one pint of beer made me cranky… Who knew that tea tree is my favorite ingredient in cosmetics… Who knew how to soothe me when the clock struck 3 and I was still lying wide-awake on my bed… These are the times when I wish to see you again, to just hold you tight in my arms, to kiss you, but I know that this feeling is temporary.
How I wish we understood then that love is not what we think it to be. But I don’t regret it.
We have a reason strong enough for us to not be together and this reason gives me the strength to keep away from you. Initially, we didn’t have a reason to fall in love, but we still did. Maybe, this is what innocent immature love is all about. Later, we found reasons why we loved each other and now those reasons have become the reason that we are no longer together.
How badly I wish to find someone whom I never have to bid adieu to. But right now, it’s just a feeling of emptiness, an urge to love someone. I just want to say that I hope you are fine too and even you find the love you expected out of me. At the same time, a part of me also hopes that you miss what we shared, just like I do.
Whoever said it’s going to be okay, never knew that it would be so difficult.
You fall for someone, invest your time in them, embrace their weakness, appreciate their strengths, involve yourself more than everything else and then one day question yourself. Then the cycle changes to ignoring that someone, getting angry on their weakness, suppressing their strengths.
You die a little every time you fight and in the end you just fall out of love.