AMPUTEE grief MOTHERHOODJOURNEY LOST

Surviving the Unimaginable: My Path from Coma to Resilience

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

In the blissful year of 2013, Siddharth and I exchanged vows, marking the beginning of a new chapter in our lives. People often believe that marriage brings forth countless responsibilities, particularly for women. Yet, contrary to those beliefs, my life blossomed with Siddharth's care and love.

In 2018, Siddharth and I received the incredible news that we were expecting a child. From guessing the baby's gender to choosing the name, our home blossomed with newfound radiance. Those nine months of anticipation were a whirlwind of excitement, laughter, and tears of joy. Siddharth took care of me and ensured a healthy journey for our baby.

Finally, the long-awaited day arrived—the day of my delivery. Fear and thrill swirled within me as I prepared to deliver our baby. I walked into the birthing room feeling strong and healthy. But as things went forward, the medical professionals found complications; time stretched painfully for 27 hours.

After several hours of trying, the doctors informed us that the baby's head was stuck in the birth canal and that a caesarean section was necessary.
The medical team acted quickly and performed a C-section to deliver the baby.

By god's grace, I delivered a baby boy. However, my glimpse of him was fleeting, as I succumbed to unconsciousness due to severe postpartum bleeding. The nurses there tried to handle it themselves without the supervision of a doctor, which deteriorated my health. My heart rate continued to slow down for 90 minutes before suddenly stopping. The persistent blood loss forced the doctors to perform a drastic measure—removing my partial uterus and both ovaries. I was kept on a ventilator due to the heavy dosage of medications and dialysis. Due to extreme loss, I went into a coma, abruptly shattering the hopes and dreams my husband and I had cherished for nine months. It was a tragedy no one had anticipated.

I was in a coma for six days.

And as I regained consciousness, the hard reality hit me: gangrene was spreading into my body, which necessitated the amputation of my hands and legs.
I could no longer cradle my baby in my arms but only watch him from a distance. Despite the profound loss, I remained grateful for my survival and resolved to overcome the obstacles ahead.

After four and a half months, I was discharged from the hospital. Even the ordinary world seemed beautiful as I returned home. The constraints of hospital walls made me appreciate the beauty of the outside world. Little did I know that although I was going to the hospital with all my body parts intact, I would return devoid of a few.

As I returned home, I finally experienced the moment I had yearned for since I discovered my pregnancy—holding my precious baby in my arms. Life seemed to be returning to normal when my husband broke the heartbreaking news that our child, Mahir, had been diagnosed with a Genetic Disorder. However, whenever I saw Mahir's innocent face, I found the courage to rise afresh, ready to tackle the challenges awaiting me.

One day, during my rehab class, an overwhelming feeling gripped my heart—a sudden intuition of Mahir, my beloved baby. It was a sensation I had never experienced before, but it was so intense that I couldn't ignore it. I left the class immediately and hurried home, driven by an urgent need.

When I arrived, I found Mahir happily playing. I sat beside him, cherishing our time together, when suddenly, his innocent eyes closed, forever sealing our fate. From that moment on, he never opened them again.

Our beloved baby had left us, leaving us devastated. I was deeply traumatised by the loss.

Everyone around me tried to console my broken spirit, and amid the sea of condolences emerged a mesmerising glimpse of Mahir. As Mahir's laughter echoed in my ears, I emerged from the pain stronger than ever, ready to face any challenge that came my way. If a young baby can battle a disease for months, how could I, being her mother, not find the strength to fight alongside him? This thought helped me sail through that phase and start afresh with a happy heart.

Though Mahir's physical presence is no longer in our lives, his ethereal presence continues, leaving a lasting impression on my soul. He helped me discover the depths of my inner strength and hidden potential in the darkest moments.

His brief presence in our lives awakened my true potential and taught me the importance of cherishing every moment.

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