How The Other Woman In Her Husband's Life Ruins Every Indian Daughter-In-Law's Life

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 12 May, 2017

This is getting nothing but uglier for me day by day. As much as I want to forget and ignore this, the disturbing posts on my social media feeds make it worse.

The beautiful brides who bedazzled the world with their beauty just a year or two ago, now seem broken, haggard and depressed.

The agitating and agonizing posts these girls share publicly on social platforms reveal a lot about their impaired married lives and how they are being unceasingly wounded by their parents-in-law. With starry eyes, that beautiful bride dreamt of an even more beautiful beginning of her much-awaited life. A life that she thought she deserved; where her man would treat her like a queen and where the new family would accept her with open and warm arms.

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Did she ask for too much? Little did the poor thing know that gradually this world will smash her dreams to smithereens. Life after getting married was not even remotely close to her world of fairy tale. This is exactly what all my recently married friends and acquaintances are undergoing. And sadly, this story is not too different.

One month flew and her mother-in-law started treating her like a house-maid. The old house-maid was thrown out of her job because this house now had a new maid who would give her lifetime services for free; would retaliate only in the form of silent tears and will never threaten to leave the job.

All this started happening while the faint traces of her ‘henna’ were still apparent on her delicate hands and her “choodha” still made that sweet but dismaying tinkling sound while she wiped her tears amidst the dirty water of the bucket she used for sweeping and mopping the floor.

How she would wistfully imagine the devastated faces of her parents who could never foresee her in a situation like this! She didn’t feel terrible for herself but for her parents who had never made her pick even an iota of dirt in their house. She belongs to a reputed family with her father at a very high post. Helpers and drivers were always at their disposal at her parents’ home.

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You might now be wondering that why did her parents get her married into such a family? Yes, she was stubborn, like every other idiotic girl who is in love. And wasn’t this guy in love with her, too? She couldn’t visualize how her life would be without this guy whom she had loved for twelve years. She can’t think of a life without him even today.

Who could have been happier than her the day she got married to her high-school love? But now she often wonders if every boy changes after getting married. Why was her mother-in-law not prepared to share her son? Why was the girl made to feel that she was intruding in the personal territory of her husband and her mother-in-law? Why was she always made to feel like an outsider? Her mother-in-law’s acts of discrimination had started to make her feel jealous of her own husband. Be it food or other small yet essential things, the daughter-in-law was made to take the backseat.

The leftovers and rejected food stuff comprised her meals. This was happening to a girl whose husband was in a flourishing job, much to the envy of other girls. This was happening with a girl who belonged to a family that never deprived her of anything- at the very least, the basic necessities of survival!

She didn't know what sibling rivalry meant till she was gradually forced to understand what spouse rivalry could possibly mean? Was this the planned intention of her mother-in-law? Was her mother-in-law trying to drift them apart?

This girl who had her best friend and confidante in her husband throughout her growing up years never thought twice before sharing even the tiniest detail with him. About her trivial issues with friends, colleagues, or even her own parents, she knew he was the one who will find her the best solution.

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Now when she wanted to confide in him with the biggest problem of her life, the mother-in-law forced her son to believe that his wife was instigating him against his own mother and attempting to pull them apart. 

Why have things changed between the two of us since we got married? Why can’t we be like best friends anymore? Why do I have to behave as a submissive daughter-in-law? With whom will I share my problems like I always did? Why is your mother’s insecurity killing the real us. She continued asking these questions but all went to his deaf ears and this did nothing good to their relationship but just drifted them apart. Yes, exactly how the other woman conspired.

Her husband is in a profession where he has to stay away from home for almost half the year. Just being the mother-in-law she is, she can’t see them living together. So she didn’t let her pick up a job where her husband is.

It solves dual purposes for her. First, she gets an unpaid maid. Secondly, she doesn’t have to be insecure of her son getting closer to his rightful life-partner. Wow, this setup totally works for her! Well, the way it hurts her soul when once in a blue moon they decide to go out as a couple, is beyond one’s comprehension! Again how much it pinches her skin when her son supports his wife! She grabs every opportunity to add fuel to the fire when the couple gets into arguments. She is savage for sure!

Still unsure of when this girl will be able to live a life of peace and independence with her husband, she muses that the biggest loser in the whole scenario is their decade long relationship.

Now, before anything else he is just the son of that other woman in their lives. She knew that they love each other beyond infinity but his mother’s spell has blinded and deafened him to an extent where he just doesn’t want to see or hear anything.
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Whenever he tries to raise his voice against his mother, he is gibed, shunned and emotionally blackmailed. Phew, his is a miserable situation, too! She just hopes for miracles. But she can’t brush aside the fact that the other woman has happily succeeded in snatching him away from her.

Now as far as that other woman is concerned, one thing this girl knows for sure, for her she is nothing more than the mother of her beloved husband. The mother-in-law has forced the daughter-in-law to not only lose her pure love for her but also the respect she righteously deserved.

Mothers always encourage us to respect and love our mother-in-law the way we love them but while expecting anything in return, remember that she is your mother-in-law and not your real mother. This will make you a better and stronger person. You will not get hurt at least.

But this girl always ponders does she really need to be a saint? She thinks aloud, “I might not be very strong at the moment but hey, I am surely evolving as a stronger person with each passing day!”

Author's Note:

I want to tell every woman who reads this write-up that nobody is inciting you to not care for your parents-in-law. Take utmost care of their health, finances, emotions and well-being but only when they actually need you. You don’t have to torture yourself by dragging yourself through your days when they are absolutely hale and hearty. When they are healthy enough to torment and harass you then they are definitely capable enough of taking care of themselves. Be with them if they are ailing and sick. But don’t waste your life living like their slave.

Editor's Note:

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