I was a very homely girl. I loved living my life to the fullest. I always had a smile on my face. I enjoyed every moment of my life and wished for a happy life.
I was a firm believer in God.
Right from my childhood days, I had dreamt of getting married. I would get very excited whenever I thought of my marriage.
But I guess God had very different plans for me.
My marriage failed. It turned out to be a disaster and I got divorced. I agreed to get married again. And after a while, I even started feeling happy about settling down in life again.
Very often people would tell me that “Whatever happens - happens for a good reason.”
I was sure that God had something good in store for me. So I was happy when I got a second chance in life.
But again, God had different plans for me.
After our honeymoon, I noticed that my husband indulged in strange activities. He would deliberately fight with me so that he could stay away from me. He would then use trivial reasons to threaten me frequently. He would say that he would leave me. He would then say that I was free to leave his house at any time.
It did not take me long to realize that he had no interest in me. I was just a showpiece in his house. All I had to do was to serve his family and entertain his family members.
I just had to follow a daily routine. I would cook, go to the office, cook again and sleep. My husband was never at home. He had married me under societal pressure. Over a period of time, I realized that he was gay. I couldn’t discuss this with his parents.
When I told my family about it they said I might be mistaken about it. But with every passing day, I knew my suspicions about him were not unfounded. I then came across some weird chats that he had with a boy. I now knew for sure that he was gay.
I just wanted to leave his house that day. But I had no proof. The next day he picked up a fight with me again. He threatened me and asked me not to enter his house. I did not go to his house after that. And neither has he asked me to return to his house.
I feel like slapping him and his family for playing with a girl’s life like this. I strongly believe that he and his family should be punished severely for duping a girl like this. They need to realize that the girl is not at fault all the time. A girl deserves some respect too.
My life has turned upside down now. I never thought that my life would take this kind of a bad turn. After going through so much in my life, I have given up all hopes of leading a ‘happy’ life.
I don’t feel like smiling or laughing because I have nothing to be happy about. I don’t have the strength to recover from this kind of pain. I don't believe that something better is in store for me. I have stopped believing in God. I have always prayed to God sincerely. But I guess God never paid heed to my prayers.
My parents now accuse me for every small thing that goes wrong. They make me feel that I am at fault for all the things that went wrong in my life. I only get discouraged when I see them treat me like this. I don’t trust anybody now. I have a lot of questions for you God. Why are you testing me like this? Why am I still alive? What else do you have in store for me? I hate you for all the miseries in my life!
I know I have suffered a lot in my life. But I have done my best to cope with it too. I feel I have become a stronger person after experiencing all this. But I cannot help blaming God too. I had just asked God for happiness in ‘love’ and ‘life’. Maybe I was expecting too much from God. I hate my life. I wish God doesn’t give this kind of a life to anybody. I hate the line: ‘Jo hota hai ache ke liye hota hai’.
God, if you really exist, please actually do something good for me. Punish him and his family too. They ruined a girl’s life because they wanted to maintain their status in their society.
I really wish I could post a picture of that horrid man. I want the whole world to be aware of his intentions. I know that there is nothing wrong in being gay. But deliberately ruining the life of a woman by hiding the truth is also wrong.