Dear Women: I'm Calling Out On Your BS Today And I Don't Care If You Hate Me For It

Dr. Sarvesh Jain Dr. Sarvesh Jain in Bakkar. Chai. Sutta on 10 January, 2018

Dear girls,

I am getting tired of hearing this. You keep saying that the boys are making your life miserable by giving you so much extra attention.

You keep nagging us about it. But don't you worry. I will surely help you out. After all, I am feminist to the core. Why should you be treated any differently just because you are a woman?

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I won’t suggest that you stop posting provocative pictures of yourself publicly because it attracts unwanted attention. I know you are smart enough to understand that by yourself.

I won’t tell you to stop flirting around with shopkeepers to get a good bargain. After all, why pay extra when you can get it for less. I won’t tell you that it is wrong of you to ask your male friend for strong favours because you too secretly know that he wants to sleep with you. You know you are using his desperation to your benefit. But that is not wrong, is it?

I wouldn’t dare suggest that you should not go out late at night all alone or you should choose to dress wisely or that you should not get into an autorickshaw in which three men are already seated. I will be victimized by giving such suggestions so I prefer keeping quiet about it.

I won’t do or say any or all of these things because I believe that you are a well-educated, young, smart and talented person living in modern times where people believe in freedom, democracy and equal rights.
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But I can give you a few practical suggestions that you can use to help yourself.

Be strong when you say, “No.”

If you don't want to talk to someone, tell them to their face directly. Sometimes, we misunderstand a "No" as a ‘maybe' and we then think that a ‘maybe' means "Yes." We are extra-positive that way.

Don’t use us. I cannot be simpler than this.

We are not your drivers or your cashiers. We are not your pillows to cry on when you feel like staging an emotional drama. We may be lacking in self-love and we may still do all your petty work because you asked us to do it with a smile but don’t you dare lower your high standards of being independent either.

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Don’t feel proud of yourselves because you receive dozens of messages and comments every day. You are not special in any way.

We just blindly send them to everyone and hope that at least one person will be bored enough to reply to our ‘nice picture dear’ comment.

When we say you are the only love of our life, it is not as if we had too many options and decided to choose you. It is the opposite.

You were the only one who chose us and you know this, right? So until we find someone else who is interested in us, we are sticking around with you no matter how badly you treat us.

We know you make fun of your boyfriend’s efforts and laugh at the gifts that he gave you. You discuss all this with your best friends. Please remember that not all people are born with a silver spoon but we do try to do our best for you.

And if that is not enough for you, we don’t feel ashamed in calling you a gold digger.
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When we say we are not talking with any other girl so there is no need for you to feel insecure - it is a lie. When we say we’ll be there for you when you don’t feel fine – it is a lie. When we say we were thinking about you at night, you know what we mean.

Don’t fall for the sweet words that we say. These are stunts performed by trained professionals. So please don’t believe us when we say such things and give your precious heart to us. We can’t take even keep our phone safe. Then how can you expect us to keep your heart safe?

Somewhere you know you are using us. Somewhere we know we are being used. But nobody wants to confront the other person so the game goes on. Either you need to stop bragging about how popular you are amongst boys or you need to stop nagging us when you get so much extra attention.

No matter how rude, wild or mannerless you are, somewhere, someone will surely like you for it. We live in a country where millions are unemployed. The people who are employed are mostly passing their time and hoping that they are not fired next month. We are a generation that has the maximum amount of free time and absolutely nothing to do with it. We are raised in a materialistic environment with stiff competition. Some of us have become experts at this game while the rest remain as dumb as ever.

Feel free to call me a sexist or a chauvinist or a feminist or any other word that you find suitable. Nothing will dim my voice today.

The objective of this letter is to raise my voice and tell the world that what is wrong is wrong no matter how loudly you oppose it.
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It is wrong when you use our desperation to your advantage and then turn your back on us as if we never mattered.

It is time you started introspecting rather than pointing fingers at us.

From,

A boy who has been dumped multiple times.

Editor's Note:

Harmless flirting can be fun and memorable as long as it is taken with the right spirit. Often we may even end up making lifelong friends this way. It is only when we start reading too much between the lines or have too many expectations or take people for granted or get emotionally involved that the relationship takes a different turn. Do share this tongue in cheek story because this cheerful lad really knows how and why girls and boys flirt with each other.