Only 'Love' Mattered To Her, Even If 3 Families Were Getting Ruined

Anonymous Anonymous in Dirty Picture on 25 November, 2017

Read the first part of this story here: I Surprised Her On Valentine's Day And That's When She Broke The News To Me

Me: Your father has come out of such a big disease just now, and you want him to face this embarrassment? How do you think he will react? How do you think your mother, your grandfather, your family will react to this? How will you disclose this to them? What will you tell them? And how do you think I would talk about it to my family, because I have been taking the stand for you, fighting for you for the last 5 years? They always said this will happen one day, and you want to prove them right? For once, let’s forget about all this, because what will happen to the three kids, dear? And do you really feel you will be able to match with his life? He is f***ing 14 years older than you.

She: I don’t know all that, what I know now is that I love him more than I love you and I can’t live without him, he has been my support since so long.

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Me (Getting uneasy): We have been each other’s support system, dear. We have been together for last 5 and a half years. It was me who was there with you when you were depressed, it was me who was there when you needed love, care, and whatnot. For all the 5 years, it was me who cared about one and only thing - your happiness. I was always thinking about various reasons to bring a smile to your face, to make you happy, to make you comfortable, and now you are saying that it was him? His one year of care has overpowered my 5 years in a jiffy? And you want me to take this positively and just move on in life? How do you expect me to forget all that we had in the last 5 years in which all I had was you? I lost everything and everyone else just for you, and now you want me to go to nothingness?

She: A*** please don’t complicate things for me any further, I already have so much guilt in my heart for doing this to you, but I just can't be with you anymore.

Me (trying to keep my calm): Have you slept with him?
She: I need to go to the washroom, so excuse me for 2 minutess, please!
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She said that and left. I got my answer and it was confirmed by a message that she sent me from the washroom. A tear rolled down my left eye, followed by one from my right, and everything around me got blurry. I was speechless and dumbstruck. I felt a lump in my throat and I knew at once, that if I uttered a single word now, I would burst into tears. I couldn’t cry the way females do, crying only from eyes while keeping the mouth shut. Until that day, I had always cried like the babies do, or the ladies do when someone dies. But that day I realized, even though I was not speaking anything for the sake of not crying, everything I saw was blurry and I felt something wet on my cheeks. I blinked my eyes and tears gushed out like never before. I tried to clear my throat, went to the water tank to drink water and attempted to clear the lump. On the way back, I could feel people staring at me. I drank lots and lots of water, went to the washroom, and washed my face. I stared at myself in the mirror and told myself not to cry in front of her, whatever the case may be. I calmed myself, and told myself that she has been disturbed because of the financial issues, her father’s disease and everything in between, and all of this has worked in the favour of Mr. P. He has brain-washed her and it's now my duty and responsibility to save her from his trap. She needs me the most at this time, and I can’t be weak at this point in time. Saying this to myself, I reached the place where we were sitting, and she was already there, I smiled at her and the conversation continued:

Me: You don’t need to feel guilty of anything, I understand that loneliness makes people do things which they would ideally never do. Let's just forget everything that has happened and let’s start afresh. Just like your dad has started a new life after being cured, we can start our relationship again. I will come to Mumbai asap, we will get married and live happily :)

She (literally face-palming): Why are you so adamant dear, I am saying that I don’t need you. I want you to move on, and we can only be friends at most. I will live with him from now on. Please. I beg you not to complicate things for me now, I have already put so much time and thoughts into it, I just cannot think any more about it. I have already decided, as of now I am not telling about this to anyone, and I will see what needs to be done later on, I can’t ruin my present for the future.

Me (on the verge of crying): How long has this been going on, S****? How many times have you slept with each other? When did it happen for the first time?

She: It first came to mind in July last year, and I flushed it as a joke, but as time passed, it struck me again and again. I convinced myself that I love you and I can’t think of anyone else but whenever he came in front of me, all I could see was him and his circumstances.

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Me: And how did it happen? The final decision and the act?

She: The day I came to know about my dad’s disease, we were in some city where we had gone for client negotiations. When mom called me, and told me the news, he was with me. As I came to know about it, I fainted, when I woke up, he was by my side. I started crying profusely, I don’t know how it all happened, I cried on his shoulder and it just happened.

Me: It just happened? On the news of your dad’s disease, it just happened? Have you completely lost your mind? He would have forced himself on you, I am damn sure of this! You must have been under the influence of alcohol. You can't do it when you are sober, I know this very well.

She: You don’t know anything. It was completely my decision and he never forced me to do anything. It was indeed, my choice.

Me (anger building inside me, tears threatening to appear): So you mean to say that you just ditched me in broad daylight, without a second thought to how I would feel when I get to know? Without any mistake of mine? After all that I have done for you, all you could do is this?

She: I said I am already guilty of this, please A***, please don’t force me to say anything more.

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Me (crying profusely): What else do you have to say? What else is left to be said, dear? Such is his brainwashing that you are not ready to listen to a single word against him, and you want me to do nothing? Just like that, to move on? The love of my life is leaving me, for a father of 3 kids and you want me to do nothing?

She: Stop it dear, it was you who made me do this. You were not mature enough to handle our relationship, I wanted a man by my side, not a kid. And you are a kid, with zero maturity level. You behave like a kid always, making fun of everything, doing stupid things always and then apologizing for them later on. I just couldn’t tolerate it anymore.

Me (dumbstruck and speechless): What are you saying?

She: Yes, I always wanted a mature guy, and you always did these acts of stupidity and nothing else.

Me: But I always did those things just to make you smile, to make you happy dear, how can you even say this? Even once, if you had told me to stop it, I would have ended it.

She: I told you innumerable times, but you always reiterated your behaviour. I know you love me and I love you too but, this is just not possible for me anymore.

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Me: After 5 and half years of our relationship, you realize this? That I am not mature enough? It was you who asked me to be as I was when we first met and now that I am the same, you complain?

She: I know dear but, I was a kid at that time too. Growing up is necessary, and you didn’t.

Me (taking deeper breaths): S****, let’s leave, I am feeling very uneasy, we will talk about it at home.

Saying this, I stood up, she stood up too, and we headed towards her apartment. Tears rolling down my eyes, heart beating faster than ever, body shivering as if my temperature was in negatives. We just walked out of the mall and walked towards our destination. She asked me to take an auto but I refused and told her to take it and leave if she wants, but I would walk that distance. I needed some time for myself. I just kept walking, and 2–3 km was nothing for me. At that time, I would have walked for much more than that. I walked, I cried, I sobbed. She followed me. At some instant, I felt like raging, felt like hitting someone or beating someone to death.

I felt frustrated, I felt like someone had stabbed me from within, an ache developed in my chest and I just wanted that ache to leave me. I started running, and then I stopped. I shouted at the peak of my voice, on the road.

I knew I was acting weird, but I couldn’t help it. I moved my arms and legs like a madman, I just didn’t know what to do and I had already lost control of myself. The girl whom I loved from the bottom of my heart, for whom I left my parents for an entire year, for whom I gave up nights of sleep, whose slaps and kicks I had faced with a smiling face, when she was going through depression, for the girl whose sake I took up a job so that she doesn’t have to earn, whom I taught how to speak and write in English, was now telling me how immature I was to try to make her laugh even in the worst situations.

She was now telling me to move on, because she has gotten someone more mature, and she is comparing the behavior of a 38 year old man and a 24 year old boy, she was getting ready to marry a man 14 years older than her. I didn’t know how to react, what to do, where to go, whom to ask for help.

Flashbacks kept haunting me - the 5 years that we had spent together, lived together, loved together, cried together, laughed together, fought together. The mocking faces of my family came in front of me, the mocking faces of my colleagues came in front of me, around whom I used to boast about her and how proud I was to have her and of our relationship, the faces of her parents, of how would they react when they would come to know about it. All these scenes rolled in my eyes just like a film, and I had no idea what to do, so I just cried, shouted, ran like a madman, then stopped suddenly, and sat in the middle of the road. Thank god, it was afternoon time, and there was no traffic. She came to me and asked me not to create a scene on the road as people were staring.

But at that time, I had zero f***s to give to what people think or say about me, I asked her who she was and told her to f*** off and leave me alone. If she was getting embarrassed by what I was doing, no one would say anything to her, so I asked her to just get lost. I went to a corner and sat there cross-legged.

I sat there, thinking what to do and what not to do. I took out my phone and called my only friend, N. As soon as she picked up the phone and said hello, I burst into tears, once again. She couldn’t understand what was happening because I was crying, and my words were inaudible, but she calmed me down. I slowed down and told her everything. She was also dumbstruck at first, then she asked me to go home, to be there as long as I need to, and then come back to Delhi. She said that we will then see what needs to be done. I had already had enough for the day, so I got up, went to the apartment and slept. That day was the worst day of my life till date. I had never cried like that and I know I won’t cry like that or even 50 percent of that, ever again. Why? Because I am no more sensitive now. I have matured as a person from that day onwards, and emotions don’t matter to me anymore.

A part of me died that day, and with that, died all the emotions I had in myself. Even now, I surprise myself with instances where I show myself how insensitive I have become.
Author's Note:

I left for Delhi the next day morning, never to go back to Mumbai ever again.

Editor's Note:

Share this story because love makes people illogical, and it becomes the whole world's problem.