I’m a young working woman, and I recently went through an extremely unpleasant phase, and the lesson I learnt from it will be with me for the rest of my life. 

During my time as a student, I found myself thrust into a tumultuous, unpleasant phase. My boyfriend abruptly ended our four-year relationship, citing commitment issues, and it took me a long time to accept this. The abruptness of it all left me in a state of shock and denial that lingered for months after our break-up. 

In the aftermath, I decided to get busy with other activities, participate in events, and focus on my studies.

Soon I was making some progress, but just as it was about to be sunny, a dark cloud appeared…I was participating in a drama festival when I ran into a charming guy. I instantly felt attracted to him. He was just like the men you'd picture in a movie or the ones in those romantic novels—absolutely charming. 

Having been alone for a while, I thought maybe I could give this a shot and be friends. It seemed like the right time to know someone and see where the path might lead. I mustered the courage and approached him, and to my delight, he was sweet and kind. We exchanged numbers, and soon it progressed to frequent outings, and before we knew it, we found ourselves in a relationship. 

I was absolutely smitten by him. He was charming and polite; we had similar interests, and he just seemed to be doing and saying the right things. I must admit, I was actually naive and too blinded. I took his words too seriously and felt he loved me as well.

His gestures made me believe so, he would write me poems, send me quotes, and gift me with accessories and perfumes. He would go out of his way to make my day special; he would send me dinner, chocolates, gift hampers, and everything else to make me feel special. I fell for everything. I even sneaked out of my home late in the night and went for a drive. 

We also spent a night on his terrace, listening to music, and I was insanely in love with this guy.

I felt so lucky; having gotten out of one toxic relationship, I was feeling free and agreed to everything and anything without much consideration. Soon, he expressed the desire for a more physical, intimate connection.

It made me a little apprehensive, but I trusted his intentions, and I felt I should do it now, at his insistence. It was, after all, going to be my first time; however, he was experienced in this matter. 

Things got hot and heavy, but something made me stop, and I requested we stop since I was uncomfortable now. He obliged, agreed, and said that he was ready to wait. A few days later, we were at his place, and things were getting steamy. He insisted we try it again, but I was not ready for it, so I denied. This time, he got furious and was rude to me. His behaviour changed that night, and he seemed distant. 

He stopped texting frequently; he wouldn't contact me, and whenever I tried contacting him, he would give some excuse and avoid me. He then texted one day, saying that he was leaving for a month-long trip and that we needed a break.

He promised to resume the relationship once he returned. I couldn't agree to this, and I felt I was being taken for a ride. We ended things right there. I couldn't believe that all those actions and words were empty, and they were nothing but a way to take me to bed. 

I was devastated and felt that someone had taken advantage of my trust.

Months later, I found out he was dating someone else all along. After this experience, it was hard for me to trust anyone. It destroyed my perception of love and care. It instilled fear in my mind, and I was suspicious of any behaviour that was good. 

Most importantly, it taught me that I should listen to my body and not go against its wishes just to please anyone or do anything under pressure. I am still trying to let go of the past, forgive, and forget.

Everything will heal with time, and I’m left with a lifetime of lessons and hope.

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