A few months ago I was in a situation where I barely managed to sleep. Work was the only thing on my mind and I was chasing deadlines everyday. I was skipping breakfast and rushing to office and once I did reach office, there was literally no time for anything else. I was ignoring phone calls, skipping lunch and at times didn't even get up to drink water (needless to say I didn't get up to pee).

There was no difference between weekends and workdays and everyday I was being drained out bit by bit. I had fallen sick and was still working from home and there came a time when I broke down. I woke up on a Monday morning, feeling exhausted, feeling I couldn't take it anymore. There was a storm in my head that refused to calm down and I started having second thoughts about going to office while I was getting ready to start the day.

I called in sick, informed my manager that I will be taking off for the rest of the week and reserved a seat to travel to my hometown the very evening. I went home - everyone asked how I was and how long I would be staying. I didn't have answers to either of the questions. I didn't have a plan. The only thing on my mind was to put down papers and never go back.

I felt like I could not go back to work, any work. I spoke with friends about quitting my job and sitting at home for a few days and then maybe take up a less stressful job. I was confused but fearless even after putting my job at stake. What's more confusing? People. They give you all sorts of advices - from starting a business to taking a long career break - that didn't help. Something didn't feel right.

I went to see a psychiatrist - took medications, which only made the situation worse. It took the worry away just like a painkiller takes away the pain instead of acting upon the root cause. I was becoming more and more careless and was least bothered about getting fired, ending my career, screwing up my life etc.

2 and a half weeks passed and I kept on extending my 'vacation' by citing health issues - mental instability to be precise. I was sitting alone, lost in an eternal melancholy when my dad came and sat next to me. As I was about to put an end to the melancholy by popping up an antidepressant, my dad asked me to wait for a while. I asked him how he managed to smoothly pull off a perfect work-life balance and be a perfect husband and dad.

He smiled and said, "the balance was never there to begin with." He did struggle a lot of times to cater to our needs along with maintaining a good track record at work. Also managing the times of financial crisis (which I seldom faced after starting to work being responsible only for myself). I asked, "After all this what made you keep going".

He replied, "When I came back from work, seeing my kids smile was the biggest motivation in my life. And I know that my family's happiness is dependent on my work. So not even once did I think about quitting." It was so obvious - the answer was so simple and God knows why I entangled myself in all the complexity.

That whole night I could not sleep (perhaps, quitting antidepressants was a good move). I thought about the struggle I went through to get my first job after college. I was on cloud number nine, my parents were so proud. My dad distributed sweets at work (which I got to know about recently). I thought about the good times at work, the fun activities we used to do.

I made up my mind to go back to work.

Now was the most difficult part, going back to face people at work who think you're a lunatic who just ran away one fine morning. Some would think you are too naive to handle little pressure. Manager would be annoyed and there would be a hell lot of backlog to clear.

Finally, I went back to work and the atmosphere was surprising. No, they didn't think I was a lunatic or a cry baby. There were no whispers, no murmurs. People in my team were glad to see me (an extra hand to clear the backlog). Others thought I went on a long vacation - to Hawaii maybe and asked if I enjoyed the trip. The remaining didn't know/didn't care.

Maybe they just thought they had seen me before. That was comforting. 

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