I have been in a relationship with this guy from past 2.5 year. We felt an amazing attraction and everything was just so perfect in the beginning. He was a charmer- humble, sweet, caring, loving person. He left his ex girlfriend saying that she wasn't right for him and they were having so many problems in their relationship. Since last one year there relationship was dead and he kind of ended it. But, I did see him with her couple of times before I started liking him.

 So we ended up loving each other, going crazy. Our love was pure in all senses- mentally, emotionally, intellectually and physically. Everything was running so beautifully until one day I realised this guy wasn't behaving like how he used to be. I kept acting cool and things kept getting worse. At one point, we had a serious argument because I confronted him for his indifferent behaviour.

Things kept turning worse. He always said that he is suffering from depression, anxiety, OCD and has lots of other issues. I accepted everything about this guy and gave all my support and attention to him, never ever doubted him. Things kept turning sour, I used to help him in every way- be it in his career, with his friends, families, pushing him for yoga, meditation whatever that was possibly good for him. Making him happy and helping him out became the biggest priority of life which gradually distanced me from my friends and family. I felt like I had been drained by this person but still I was persistent, loyal and stubborn I would say.

Then came a time where I started feeling that he was missing his ex and was comparing me with her. I was always overshadowed by her saying she used to understand him more, care more. I used to feel helpless but still I had faith and kept trying to save my relationship.

We had a couple of arguments whenever I used to confront him about feeling alone despite being in a relationship. I was never appreciated for the things I had been doing and it was never good enough. Just few months back I moved to a new place for my job when he started missing me and started being nice and caring and loving.

There were many occasions where I thought this person wasn't worth enough and thought of leaving but due to strange reasons I couldn't leave. May be for love, sympathy coz he was never so low and alone.

He came many times to meet me and we were equally into each other in every way. Except for 2-3 times when things didn't go as great as I had expected. There was this strange negativity around, a strange vibration, it wasn't making us comfortable with each other. We started having problems again and I confronted him for his indifference for which we had a heated argument.

I being a girl in rage blocked him from everywhere for a week. After a week I called him up and we started talking again. It went off and on again until we decided to give some time off and take a break. I even talked to his ex about their relationship and realised it was kind of similar like mine, she always supported him, nurtured him. She knew about his emotional and mental instabilities and told me to let him go. She said it's impossible to handle him and that she too had loved him sincerely.

Just after 10 days, I came to know accidentally from his friend that he went to see a girl that his family had arranged for and said yes for the marriage. 

I was shocked, I couldn't believe he could do that. There were these mixed emotions of love, loss, regret, guilt, anger. I called him up but he wasn't ready to listen. He was furious at me and I couldn't understand why. He was as mean as he could be. Those were the lines I would never ever forget in life he said, he is very happy that he found his soulmate, he felt so comfortable with her. He told everything about his past and she accepted everything. He told me to move on and come out of my emotion, that marrying me would have been the biggest mistake of his life. The two lines which he said just struck me right there, when he said this 2 week was enough for him to move on and hate me.

 I was so naive I couldn't understand why was he doing all this. I felt like I have lost him forever, I don't know why I always remember all the positive qualities about him. Somewhere, I feel happy that he is happy but then I kept asking myself, did I push him so far that he said yes to that girl out of frustration. I saw her pic, she was simple and decent girl. I congratulated him and decided to move on.

Until after a few days he messaged me saying how are you and how's everything going, and he felt like talking because he had a bad dream. I was so pissed off and yelled at him and told him to go share his dream with the girl he said yes to!

The crux of the story is :
He is getting married in couple of months and here I am stuck thinking about what all went wrong between us. Never have I been so stupid and emotionally manipulated, and am still concerned what if his marriage doesn't work. I am scared of how he will live. Will she understand and support him?

One thing I have realised, I lost myself completely to this man and now is the time that I need to find myself again. Although my life sucks, but am still hopeful that I will do good. I still love him deep down, never loved anyone so much. I choose to forgive him for whatever he has done to me. I wonder will he ever miss me.

Share This Story