We Were Together For 10 Years Until Her Mother Decided To Ruin Us

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 26 June, 2017

It was 15th April 2007, when she said 'Yes'. She loved me as well, but she was afraid of losing me because I was planning to go abroad for further studies. That night was the most beautiful night of my life. I had found someone to be with, someone who would listen to the nonsense I spoke about all the time. After spending hours talking over the phone every night, we stretched our pockets to keep the conversation on, but that feeling was so beautiful that we never got worried about the money, even though I was only 18 at the time.

She was in Delhi and I was in some other city, but it was the most beautiful long distance relationship ever. We used to meet once or twice a year but every meeting was different and unique in its own way. In 2010, I went abroad to settle down but I never knew that it would adversely affect this relationship- I believed her more than anything. After completing my studies and spending three and half years, I finally came back home.

But there was a change in her behavior from a long time which I was beginning to notice, but I never forced her to tell me what it was. I kept thinking that it was because we weren’t meeting often, she was being different.
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After two years, I came back to India. I lied about my arrival date to my own family and straight away went to Bangalore to see her. We had a long awaited reunion, and during that visit, I met a friend of hers who was taking some financial support from my girlfriend, with the money I used to give her. I knew about this, but I never kept a very big check on her. At the end of the same year her behavior got more suspicious, and I convinced her to share her Facebook password with me. Of course I didn't have to wait long to get the whole story.

My girlfriend was having an affair with that guy who I met during our meeting.

After reading the chat that day, I was in pieces. The hard work and sacrifice I had made to have a future with her was all in vain. That night, I cried like I never had in my life and begged her to admit the truth. But she insisted that they were just friends. This was only a mishap in our relationship, and it took me a year to get over it.

Things became better between us. We continued planning our future together. Her mother kept pushing her to get married because she was “getting older” (which she was not).

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But I needed some more time to get settled, I was not mentally ready for it, and had some family issues as well. I tried my level best to delay it a little more as I needed time and was furious with her family because they kept forcing her for marriage, knowing that she loved me and knowing that we had been together for years. Her mum had once said "You guys rarely see each other. How come there is such attachment between both of you?" That had brought a little smile on my face, but it scared me to think that I might lose her if her mother changed her mind about us. Her mother was hard working but socially biased, and had the typical rural Indian mindset to believe that girls should get married before thirty, and thought dowry was okay.

I was left empty handed last Diwali when her parents insisted that she get married so that they can peacefully buy her a flat. So they forced her to go see a guy who was of the same caste and earning well. I was furious with both my girlfriend and her mother when I found out. In which world did they find it difficult to understand that I loved her and was waiting to start a future with her? And here was her mother trying to get her married off like she was an object to be taken care of, like she was brought up with a lot of care only so her best value could be gained now. So finally it was decided, fifteen lakhs was the cost of her daughter, our happiness, dreams, and of course those countless tears we both shed till then.

Even she said she is happy with this. She said yes in five days of meeting him and was engaged in the next fifteen days. She went to buy the ring, she told me all about her shopping, and I was there, crying and begging her not to do this.

We were throwing away a ten year long relationship, but in Salman Khan style she said that once she said yes, she didn’t want to rethink it. But what about the things she had thought of for the past ten years? We never had a fight in those ten years, but these last five months, I have been blocking her millions of times, then unblocking her to convince her not to destroy our dreams, but she still says she can’t do anything.

She got engaged two days after my birthday. She went home for her wedding on the 15th of April, the day she had confessed her love for me. And she chose the same time to tell me that she won’t be there for me, and that was her last message. Tears roll down my face, but I can only pray that she gets everything she wants. Why do parents run a business, buying and selling their children? Her mother sold her older sister for five lakhs, and sold my love for fifteen. Just one question- is the money going to benefit you or your daughter? It can’t buy happiness or honesty. She found out that the guy was having an affair with three other girls, yet she went ahead with it because her god-like mother told her that everything falls in place after marriage. These are the words said by the woman who has struggled for three decades to control her own husband! Despite how unsuccessful her marriage is, she sees fit to advise her daughter.  

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Do I pity these people? Do I pity them for existing on this earth? Do I pity my girlfriend for giving herself into this marriage in thirteen days?

I’m usually such a happy guy and now I’m sitting behind closed doors hiding my tears and agony, looking for someone to make me smile, hoping that she will understand and do the right thing.
Editor's Note:

Share this story because nobody should be coerced to get married.