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Navigating Motherhood in a Turbulent Marriage...
( words)
*For representational purpose only.
This story is about my failed marriage. How much more do I believe now that every female should be concerned with learning important life skills rather than finding a prince charming?
But, once again, it's not the girl's fault. We want love because we hardly receive any! Whatever little we get, we are overjoyed. And we forget about everything else that awaits us.
I've only been married for about two years. And I've already been through a lot. I finished my education and worked for a year before my prince charming appeared. I was overjoyed and thrilled.
I felt we were destined to be together. I wasn't prepared for marriage. My family, on the other hand, wanted me to marry by the age of 25, although they weren't too stringent about it. So, the word marriage was all over.
I felt safe marrying him. I told him everything that had happened to me. I told him about my family, how I was raised, and how I wanted him to treat me once we got married. You know, everything was wonderful, and he first agreed to everything.
I truly trusted him because I felt he was different and loved me. That is where I believe I went wrong. It was, in fact, an arranged marriage. My family rejected him after I said yes to him.
I was completely taken aback by him. I forced my family to agree to the marriage. Another thing I loved about him was his parents; my family isn't really friendly. I saw how great they were, and I believed they were wonderful individuals.
And for once in my life, I had a dream.
A dream I didn't want to give up. So, I called my grandma and told her everything. To my grandma, I am everything; she was okay with whatever made me happy. She became my wing lady; she told his family that I was so naive that I didn't know anything about employment or cooking.
She made them promise to look after me as if I were their own child. For at least two months after my marriage, I was on cloud nine.
And then they show their true colours. When I first asked my mother-in-law to help me around the house, she politely refused. And with only four people at home, there was no such pile of work. That time, I believed she was being polite, and I wasn't sure how to respond. But eventually, they forced me to learn to cook and do housework.
Ultimately, they started pointing out my flaws. For minor things, they would call me names. My mother-in-law is a crazy person! When she is upset, she will retire to her room and stay there for days without eating anything I cook; she even refuses water from my hand. I thought I was doing something wrong. This happens every now and then.
What would become of me? I thought my husband was a wonderful person, but he certainly has his mother's DNA; he has to be the same, if not worse. No matter what I tell him, he will always find ways to blame me.
He would cut me off for weeks. The house was a new place for me; the locality was new; I knew no one; I had no one. How can I not feel lonely when I am treated this way?
At first, I was enraged, and I used to yell at him, but it was all useless. It only serves to give him more reasons to behave poorly with me. So, I stayed quiet.
But there were also times when he stood up for me when there was a conflict at home. He made me feel like I had someone. So, I guess he's a nice person.
My mother-in-law and father-in-law blamed him for everything because he stood up for me. He came out and said that his mother's attitude has always been the same and that he has suffered as well.
It became worse as the days went on, and they would not let go of any incident to bash and demean us. Initially, my father-in-law backed me, but eventually, he took her side. Why shouldn't he, given that she is always complaining about me?
I became pregnant. I didn't want to, but my husband adored children. This gave me hope that things would change around me. But no. It's at its worst. I'm getting worse by the day. I had 24 years' worth of agony in this one-and-a-half year.
I'm almost in my third trimester, and I'm hoping for the best from everyone, but it's becoming horrible. My mother-in-law is still accusing me, and hubby is still irritated about little matters. My father-in-law supports his wife.
Here I am, waiting for my child, praying that everything will be well shortly. And I will have someone.
