Love Relationships Dating heartbreak fate

I Was A Fool To Have Lost The Love Of My Life Like This

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

I really don't know how to start.

The first real meaningful conversation we had was in our college's chemistry laboratory in our first year. I found her funny and charming. Just during that time, Durga pooja vacations were about to start and I took the courage to ask for her number and she obliged. Those were the days of unlimited SMSes, and I still remember there were days when the limit of 500 messages would get exhausted. We used to joke and talk on any random topic all day long. Slowly during that time, I fell head over heels for her.

One day, jokingly, I proposed to her and she accepted. I still cannot forget that day. After the vacations, we started dating and our relationship grew stronger. 

We went on getaways to Digha with two of our friends, even with the limited money we had. Even though we had our fights, which were mostly due to my fault, she forgave me all the time. Then one day during the 3rd year of our college I raised my hand on her and I regret the day even today. She broke up. And I went mad to get her back.

Luckily, my good friend convinced her to give me another chance and she did. Things in my romantic life were again going smoothly, but during the final year placements, we were both unlucky with job offers. Then suddenly, an opportunity arose and we were both placed in different IT companies. I had to leave her and go to Chennai and I cried like hell the day I was about to leave.

But God had different plans for us. After 3 months, on 20th December 2014, I got a call from her. Even she has got her joining in Chennai! I was spellbound. I immediately went to the nearby altar of Jesus and thanked him for his blessing. Though we stayed at different places. we were only a few minutes apart. I used visit her everyday. We used to cook on weekends, have long chats, go places, and during this time I discovered a whole new level of intimacy with her.

But fate again f*cked me up. After about a year and half into my job, I had to resign for reasons I cannot discuss here. She stood by my side like a rock and persuaded me to start afresh. She even resigned to support me and we came back to our hometown to start our careers afresh.

It is then I decided that I would do anything to marry this girl.

I started preparing for government exams while she still was figuring out what to do next. Pretty soon, the frustrations of not getting a job started getting to me and I started behaving rudely with her. We met less frequently, even though we lived only a few kilometers apart. She still encouraged me like nothing had ever happened. A year flew by without me realizing what damage I had caused in my relationship.

Then came something which shook my world forever. She decided to pursue CA as her career and joined a small firm for her internship. A month into joining the firm, she confessed to me that she had a huge crush on her boss. I felt devastated and my insecurities grew larger day by day. One day, I accused her of sleeping with her boss and she broke up with me.

It's been a month since that day. No matter how hard I try to make her understand, she says that she has moved on and for my betterment, I should do the same. She explained that she realized that all love was lost when she fell for her boss. I cannot concentrate on anything now. The only thing I do is conjure up ways in my mind to win her back. 

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