Hello, my name is Shanaya. I am a girl who is full of dreams and I always want to do something bigger. But I did have a phase in my life which was my worst. It was when I had just finished my class 12.
Until then, I was only a child. I didn't have any knowledge or inclination about romance with the opposite sex. After class 12, I got my first smartphone. So I had access to Facebook all the time, where I found a guy who was six years older to me.
We used to talk every day and I was beyond overjoyed when I found out that we both lived nearby. One day, he finally proposed to me and I accepted it.
He loved me deeply and seriously. But the magic only lasted for 6 months, before he changed. He used to be caring, but he suddenly became possessive. Overly possessive. Even if I had to go to the market near my house, he would go along with me.
My family is fairly open-minded and they don't really mind it if I go out with a man. My mother also knew about my relationship with him. But on the other hand, I was dealing with a jealous boyfriend who wouldn't even let me meet my own friends. I would need his permission, which I never got.
One day, just before Diwali, he said he would be meeting his brother who had come down from Delhi. I trusted him blindly and let him go. On the same day, I had to go somewhere with my sister too. I knew he would not allow me to go, so I lied to him.
For a fleeting moment, I felt as if another girl was involved but I talked myself out of it. Then at another place, I actually saw him with that same girl. It was my fault I didn't follow them further because I was scared. So I came home and cried my eyes out. I called him up and asked him to meet me, and he came. I was so madly in love with him that I had to convince myself that I had someone else who looked like him, and it wasn't him. Even though I saw my own boyfriend with another woman, I chose to deny it.
Since my mother already knew about the relationship and I was sure that he would marry me, I even became intimate with him. But I hadn't lost my virginity to him, despite his assurances to marry me.
Since he was so much older than I was, his parents started pressurizing him to get married and also found a girl for him. Being the well-behaved, good boy that he was, he started ignoring me, avoiding me, and finally told me he was getting married to someone else.
I was thoroughly shocked. I could not begin to understand what was happening, let alone how or why. I had an explosion of questions in my head, but he gave me no answers. He carried on like nothing had happened between us.
It was hard for me to accept the truth and took me over a year to heal. He got engaged just one month after breaking up with me. And 6 months afterwards, he was married. It killed me to see his baaraat going right in front of my house.
I cried like I had been thrown in hell, and only my mother was there to support me. Our 2-year relationship was shattered just like that. Now, 2 years later, I have found love again in a man who has accepted my past and allowed me to heal. I have unconditional love in my life now.