After All This Time, He Says He Regrets Giving Me So Much Space In His Life

Anonymous Anonymous in Life Is Tough on 11 December, 2017

I live in Mumbai and work for a well-known company. It all started at 9.45 p.m. I was bored so I asked one of my friends to accompany me to the cafeteria. I had always had a crush on a fair and handsome man. I was quite surprised when I saw him there that night. He was eating there. I told my friend about how I had always had a crush on him. The next day we went to the cafeteria at 9.45 p.m. again because we guessed that he had his break at that time.

I had been stalking him since 2016 but never ever had the guts to go and talk to him. But fortunately, my friend was quite gutsy. So I forced her to go and ask him his name. She did go but could get only his first name.

I couldn't find him on Facebook that whole night. The next day was 15th of August. I was working that day but I knew that I wouldn’t get a chance to see him that day because it was a bank holiday. Now I made up my mind that no matter what happened, I would talk to him on the 16th of August. I was working the night shift. So the next day, we approached him with a lot of courage. Once he had eaten his dinner, we stopped him outside the cafeteria and straight away asked him his name.

I introduced myself as DAA. (He never called me by my name. He always called me DAA!) I asked him if we could be friends. He looked a little nervous but he said, “Yes.”

I then told him that he had not told my friend his full name, so I couldn't find him on Facebook. So he told me his full name now. I realized that he too was a Pahadi from his surname. Maybe because both of us practised the same religion, he was interested in me. We started chatting almost daily from the very next day.

We decided to meet after a few days. It was lovely meeting him. We kissed when we met the second time and it was an awesome feeling.

We started falling for each other slowly. But one day suddenly he started avoiding my calls. I asked him if anything was wrong.

He just said that we don’t have any future so I can’t be with you. I was mad when I heard this.

I sent him an emotional message after two days. He was convinced. We met that day and everything was good after that. Our relationship was going on smoothly. But even after four months of our relationship, he did not utter those 3 magical words.

I would ask him about it every time we met. He would just say, “It will come. Have patience.” But it never came. 

One fine day, he had to go to his native place. He called me before he went and said that he wanted to kiss me, but not in the theatre. He said that he wanted to go to a hotel. I refused but he somehow convinced me. We went to a hotel. That day we did everything. But after that, he did not return for almost one month. 

When he finally returned, his tone started changing. Whenever I made plans to meet him, he would give me excuses.

A few days back, he stopped answering my calls and messages. This went on for one whole week. I asked my friend to go and ask him if anything was wrong.

To my surprise, she came back with a hurtful message saying that his feelings for me had faded.

As soon as I heard this, I went to the floor on which he worked and asked him to clarify things. He gave me a stupid reason for our breakup. He said that I had gone to a mall with my best friend who was a male. He then said that when he had called me I had pretended to be busy with my best friend. He then went on to say that I was showcasing and behaving like I was still single. To my horror, he then said that he was still into his ex who had married recently. He was not ready to answer any of my questions and was shouting at me like anything. I told him that after what we had shared in the hotel room that night, I thought we loved each other.

He just told me that he had made a mistake. He now regretted giving me so much space in his life. He said he did not want to be with a girl like me. I still wonder what he meant by that.

I was shattered by his reply because I genuinely loved him and still love him despite what he has done to me. But now I am suffering from depression and don’t know how I will face him in the office. He has blocked me from everywhere.

Author's Note:

I would just like to say that we should think before we fall in love especially when we don’t know a guy. Girls are very sensitive and even having a crush on an unknown guy can affect us emotionally.

Editor's Note:

Love involves emotions. We need to be sensitive to the feelings that we are creating in others before entering into any kind of relationship. Sadly, all of us end up learning this only through our experiences. Let’s share this emotional story so that this beautiful girl gets the courage to move on with her life.