My Punjabi Lover Went Against All Odds To Charm My Brahmin Father And It Worked

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 6 July, 2017

I belong to quite a conservative family with rigid rules, especially in terms of falling in love with a guy and then deciding to marry him. My parents were totally against accepting this idea. I belong to a typical Brahmin family with a background from Delhi and Haryana.

The man I chose to marry belongs to a typical bruuuuuaaahhh Punjabi family.

Oh no, the differences don’t just end here, it was a full-blown list - saree versus suit, ghunghat versus a stark naked head, dal versus chicken, cold drink versus scotch, milai versus milni, phere versus lawaa, haryanvi dance versus Bhangra, dholak versus dhol, SUV versus sedan etc. The day I told everyone in my house about my decision to marry a Sikh man, suddenly the whole community turned against me.

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A topper from school and college, a confident and all-rounder girl, now became the girl who was only capable of bringing a bad name to the family.

Not even one of my relatives stood by my decision except for my ever-loving cousins. I belong to a joint family, and we are used to everyone screaming with their full lung capacity all the time. My cousins supported me and they tried their best to console me, while trying to convince my relatives.

Throughout my life, before I decided to marry this handsome Sardar boy, I had been a tom-boy. I was a loud girl who enjoyed lifting iron, kick-boxing, and bashing guys who seemed or behaved like goons.

So when this man - who actually managed to make me go weak in the knees, who is stronger than me and yet has a soft heart that accommodated every relative, friend, neighbor and every street dog too, came into my life, I just could not be at peace without fighting with the world just to make him mine. The intensity of how strongly I felt for him had consumed me insanely.

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It took us five long years to convince just my parents agree to our marriage. Well, no one else’s opinion mattered much.

So how did they finally give in? Well, let me narrate the story of that fateful night to you. My Father was admitted in the hospital for a surgery. So this gabru boy of mine decided to visit him in the wee hours of the night while my father was alone laying on his bed. Wait a minute, let me tell you a bit about my father here – he is a God-loving, six-feet-tall handsome gentleman with a voice that can make people pee in their pants when he yells. He has eyes that turn hazardously red when he is angry, and when this happens, only God can save you! I recall one incident which happened with my cousin: It was my sister's roka ceremony and my father, in a high pitch, was giving a speech to everyone on how we should not waste food in weddings. Without a doubt, everyone was on the same page as him as no one would dare to disagree when he is declaring something. And then there was my poor cousin who had oodles of rice and plenty of delicacies towered on her plate. She felt full could not bring herself to eat any more. But she was so terrified of my father and what he had ordered that she came up to me with her fully loaded plate, asking me what to do with tears in her eyes. And I just could not control my laughter!

I consoled her by saying to her that this is just how his voice is, he is in fact a grown man who has the heart of a child and he can cry inconsolably while watching any dramatic maa-beta movie.

And now, coming back to the night that favored our fate. So yes, I had dared to fall in love with this well-behaved, happy-go-lucky Punjabi lad who is way too fond of his ‘dola’, proud of his turban, an atheist and a true Sagittarian. I had requested him quite a few times to not visit my father. I had tried my best to assure him that my father is well taken care of at the hospital. I warned him of my father’s temper and explained his personality to him in extensive detail.

I even went on to clearly tell my lover that my father abhors him.
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But given the Punjabi khoon, he did not pay any heed to what I had to say and went ahead to visit him anyway. The receptionist informed him about visiting hours being over but he was determined to have his way. He was a man on a mission and was not ready to step down no matter what.

I still don’t know what exactly he did or told my father but he eventually agreed. He still hasn’t let me in on this mystery but did I mention that he can woo any girl with his charm?

So yes, my man not only barged straight into my father’s hospital room, he also enquired with the attendant about his medicines, asked him to shift his bed, made him change the bedsheets etc. And my father was laying there wondering if he is the resident Doctor. Well, I forgot to mention, that my father was not ready to even glimpse at his picture so he did not know then how the man his daughter loves, looks like.

So yes, my handsome Punjabi munda sat by my father’s side, asked after his health and started to massage his feet.

My father was flabbergasted! He could not stop wondering who this gabru boy is, why is he massaging his feet at 1 AM in the night. My father started opening up to him and began telling him the incident of how Lord Krishna went to massage Sudama's feet one day. My gabru was assuming that this story is picked up from some saas-bahu serial, yes he is an atheist of that level! My father told him that he visits Vrindavan every month and how much he believes in God, he requested him to visit Vrindavan too. And then the true Punjabi in him replied to this, "Uncle, I can only visit Vrindavan post my marriage to your daughter".

And then lightning struck! My father then recognized him and the room went into intense silence.
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To save the love of my life, a nurse came and requested him to leave the premises as he had already exhausted the allotted time by 2-3 hours. The next day when my boy (now my husband) narrated the entire incident to me, I could not bring myself to believe him. I could visualize everything but I was not able to come to terms to the fact that this man dared to pull of this risky stunt. No guy has ever dared to speak to my father, let alone sitting and chatting with him gayly, and confidently discussing a possible marriage alliance with his daughter. Oh Boy, I was stunned! That same day, to my utter shock, my father asked me to tell him to inform his parents that he would like to meet them. Oh God! I couldn’t believe what was happening.

That hell of a long night was a life changer for us, it turned the tables in our favor and it made both my father and me very certain that this man is the only one for me.
Author's Note:

P.S. Even after all this happened, it was a difficult time for my parents to get us both married off without the consent of any of my relatives. Both of us are immensely grateful to my them for this. Thank you Papa and Maa, we are indebted to you for life.