Sex Confession arranged marriage Consent

I'm A Living Proof Of What Happens When You Grow Up In A Society Where Consent Is Not Taught

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

IS SEX JUST A NEED? SEX. SEX … SEX. Yes, I said it loud and not once, but 3 times consecutively.

I was raised in a family where saying it out loud is considered a sin. I never got “the TALK” from my parents. I was never told about safe sex practices and the importance of consent.

It was assumed that I learned and knew everything from my biology class. At the age of 20, I was made aware of what SEX really is by the love of my life, my one, and only boyfriend. He taught me that Sex is not just a biological need, it’s much more than that. It's acceptance of another soul, it’s the willingness of surrendering yourself to them. It’s the intimacy of an experience that is not just physical, but also emotional.

At that point I thought I completely knew about sex, I was overjoyed and I cherished every moment spent. Tragedy hit my life when I was forced to marry some stranger whom I didn’t love and for whom I didn’t have any feelings. I dreaded the word “suhagrat”. I didn’t want him to touch me, I didn’t want him to kiss me but I was told that I should keep him happy and forget all the happened in my past.

Is it that simple? I can forget my love and just make love to someone else just like that? I had a million questions in my mind but I had no answers.

I didn’t know what was coming at the age of 21. After 10 years in my marriage, now I say sex is nothing but just a physical need. It’s just a tool to relieve work stress, it’s a biological need to release the hormones, it’s just fake love to keep the family together.

Where are the thoughts that I had when I was 20? Did reality hit me so hard? No, it’s not reality but it’s the society I grew up in that is at fault. I wouldn’t be here in this stage of my life if parents had broken that taboo and had “the TALK” with their children.

It would have been easier had society taught sex as something that needed mental consent from each other every time and had not forced it in the name of “suhagrat” or as an authority. Many movies we watch now showcase sex as just a physical need between 2 individuals who indulge in it at night and leave as strangers the next morning. Is it that really easy? It doesn’t look like it to me.

Sex becomes meaningless and is animal-like if there is no emotional attachment between two people. I’m living proof and a victim like many.

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