I Let Him Go Because I Didn't Want His Parents To Disown Him

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 28 July, 2017

I met him about six years ago at our math tuition. Our tutor was a Masters student so it wasn’t a very formal affair. I was in the eleventh standard then and he was pursuing the first year of his engineering. I still remember that he was sitting right opposite me and we instantly smiled at each other. We gradually started communicating and soon became close friends.

It was more than physical attraction between us, our thoughts were in sync too.

We started meeting each other outside too. We would bunk our tuitions to chill with our group of close friends. Eventually, both of us got into relationships but we remained good friends. Within a few months, our respective relationships ended simultaneously due to some reasons. After our break ups, we started to hang out together even more and got closer than ever. During this period, one of our mutual friends was leaving for USA for higher studied and so we decided to spend all our days and nights at her place. We were having the time of our lives. And then came the time when all our friends were preparing to part ways and move to different parts of the World for either work or further studies. We got even closer during those two to three months.

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Something was slowly changing between us and we started feeling more emotionally connected than ever before.

I started to realize that I had developed feelings for him as I could not stop thinking about him. I chose to ignore my feelings as we were just friends and I had never considered him to be my boyfriend someday.

Also, I was afraid to confess my true feelings to him because if he didn’t feel the same way, I would lose him as a friend too.

But all these insecurities didn’t last long. We started having really long phone calls, which we almost never used to do in the past. All the alone time we were spending together got us even closer. I was also planning to leave the city in a few days for my higher studies. I was probably the last one among our group to leave and because of this we spent most of our time with each other, almost always in his house. I am well known in his family since then and I was quite fond of them. Finally, the big day arrived. I had informed my parents that Vivek would come to see me off at the airport. They were calm about it as I was only going to be at my grandmother’s place which is in Bangalore. Since my house is in Mangalore, I was not going far enough for them to worry.

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On our way to the airport, we didn’t say a word to each other but after reaching there I could clearly see the pain in his eyes. He waved goodbye to me and left.

All this while, I couldn’t make out whether what I had felt for him was love or not. But that moment when I started walking away from him, I realized how much I love him. When I was in Bangalore, we carried on with our long phone conversations for about a month or so. He would tell me how much he misses me. During this one month, I became even more sure of the depth of my love for him and I decided to propose to him when I would go back to Mangalore for my holidays. One day out of the blue, on one of our random phone calls, I happened to confess my feelings to him and to my delight he said that he feels the same for me. He told me how badly he wanted to be with me all this while.

He turned out to be a better boyfriend than I could ever imagine. We would have a lot of fights like other regular couples but our bond only grew stronger as the months passed by.

My parents would visit me every now and then so I never got a chance to go back to Mangalore. I ended up finally visiting Mangalore after seven whole months. Both of us were elated.

Of course, the first time we met was a bit awkward as I met him as my boyfriend for the first time ever.
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But the awkwardness evaporated very soon. I was there for only a week but I had the best time of my life! From the sweetest cuddles to crazy experiences, we cherished every moment we spent together. Our relationship continued to blossom with time and after two years of being together, he wanted to tell his Dad about it. He was extremely close to his Dad but I did not want him to disclose anything yet because it all seemed so perfect and I did not want anything to change that.

Also, I felt we had a long way to go for marriage so we should not ruin our present by worrying about the future. Despite this, he told his Dad about us and little did I know then that this would change my life completely.

His Dad didn’t agree to our relationship and warned him that if he were to marry me or continue seeing me then he will have to leave their house and cut off his relationship with them. His parents were so adamant that he actually had to leave home for a week. After this, his parents gave in and agreed to our relationship. All this while, I was feeling very bad for him because he had always shared a great bond with his parents and now he had to face all these challenges and difficulties only because of me. When I told him about this, he said to me that I was as important in his life as his parents and his life would become meaningless without me.

I was feeling blessed to have such a great person in my life.

That day was indeed the best day ever. But this happiness was soon to come to an end. One month later, my mother came to Bangalore all of a sudden and asked me to stop talking to Vivek. I was taken aback. My mother and I had always been extremely close to each other. She knew that I love him and we cannot cut off with each other. She then confessed to me that Vivek’s dad had called her to tell her about our relationship. He blatantly told my mom that, “Your daughter is crossing her limits and disturbing my son.” Those were his exact words and as I listened to the recorded clip, it broke my heart into pieces.

I told my mum how much we love each other and that we cannot stop talking just like this. She told me that his parents would never accept our relationship or marriage, and how Vivek would have to let go of his parents to save our relationship.
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My mother didn’t have any problem with Vivek but she did not want us to go against his parents’ wishes. Ever since we got together, even we did not want to hurt his parents and disregard their will. I decided to try to convince his parents one last time. I called them and had a long chat with them, and I was desperately requesting them to accept our relationship. We had a long discussion over this and yet they didn’t budge. They asked me to break up with him and let them live with their son in peace. They obviously asked me to keep all this to myself and not to mention the fact that they reached out to my mom, to Vivek. I decided to call it off, not because my love had faded but because I felt that his parents are the most important people in his life as I had witnessed the kind of bond that he used to share with his parents. I didn’t want to be the reason behind the turmoil in his family.

A broken heart may after all be healed with time but a broken family would have a much bigger impact on him.

I called him and told him that my mother had come across our conversations and she was not happy with our relationship, that there was no way for us to be together. I knew this broke his heart but I had no way out. I wanted him to be happy with his parents.

He told me that he would convince my parents but I did not give him a chance to communicate with me further.

He later called me mom and tried to explain to her how much he loved me and how he could see a future with only me. My mother responded to him negatively. He then texted me: “You know how much I love you but if this love is what causes a disturbance in your family, I am happy to leave you for your family. But just keep in mind that I will always and forever love you.” I then blocked him on all social networking sites as well so that he had no way of contacting me. I even made sure that none of our mutual friends were in touch with him. I haven’t set foot in Mangalore since then. I left the country within six months of this episode.

Three years have passed since and I am still very much in love with him, more than he could ever imagine. I see happy pictures of his family on Facebook and secretly wish to be a part of his happy family someday.