I often wonder, what is the purpose of life? I’m sure we all have thought about it at least once in our life.
I am not even sure why I am living this life. I was a 20 years old happy going girl, but not anymore. I was degraded because of my looks.
It can be difficult for 20 years old with a dark complexion and below average look to survive. It didn't bother me much until everyone in the society upheld that. They were not concerned about how intelligent I was or how I got into a reputed college but only about my looks.
To add to my sorrows, my father doesn’t treat me well.
I love him so much, and I hope he does me too but he would never miss a chance to hurt me. Like everybody, I too wished to roam around with my friends. But I wasn’t allowed to go out with them or even visit their house.
So, gradually I turned into an introvert and my friends started to avoid me because I hardly spent any time with them.
My mother, a wonderful soul, is also not allowed to go out either without my dad’s permission or spend her hard earned money the way she wants.
He was recently admitted to the hospital because of his drinking habits but he blamed us for it. I have taken care of him at midnights when he was ill. But when he had recovered, he remarked that we didn’t even take care of him properly.
And when my mom was sick, he was busy enjoying parties outside.
He doesn’t even work, so my mom has to manage both outside and household work. She struggles every day but my dad would act like a king and we are nothing more than servants to him.
He checks my Whatsapp and Facebook messages. Where do I find my happiness?
I don’t find it in my home and I have lost all my friend. What should I do now?
Nobody sees the pain behind my smile. I don’t even have anybody with whom I can share my sorrows.
Maybe the guy to whom I will get married will not even like me because of my looks. Perhaps, he would be marrying me just for money or he might also need a maid.
Where would I find my freedom and happiness?
I always try to play the role of a perfect daughter and please everyone, yet I am never enough for them. I always put other’s happiness before mine, yet I am denied my inner peace.
Will my smile ever be genuine? I try to take care of everybody, but at last, I am only left with loneliness.