He Was Like A Father To Me Until The Day He Decided To Give Me 'Sex Education'

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 18 December, 2017

I'm a 21-year-old medical student from an upper middle class, well-educated family. I've been educated in the best schools my family can afford. My father is a down to earth man who has worked really hard and has a big name in the society. He is quite orthodox, but I still wanted to tell him about the sexual abuse I underwent.

Even after being in an educated society and being aware of it, the first it happened to me, the first time it was DONE to me was when I was in the 2nd grade. It was my own cousin who did it; he was in high school at that time. His touches were always uncomfortable for me.

Even my other cousin had the same feeling- one day while going to our homes from our native place, we were six people in a car, so someone had to sit on his lap. I ended up sitting on my evil cousin's lap and he slipped his hand inside my shirt, squeezing me. Thanks to television, I knew the difference between good and bad touch, but still kept mum about it. I avoided him like the plague.

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It's been more than 10 years and he thinks I don't remember it. We talk casually now.

My second experience was because of someone I respected the most. He was like a second father to me. He and my father are from totally different communities and are friends from their youth. They are really close friends, closer than family!

My uncle and aunt don't have children. They always used to say that I and my brother are their children. I grew up having my uncle and aunt as my second parents, always going shopping with my mother and aunt, showing everything I got to my uncle, even sharing about boys.

Things got a bit weird when he tried to show me porn after my 10 grade, telling that it's sex education. When we were alone, the most shocking thing happened. He groped me. I was shocked and I couldn't make out what happened. I kept my mouth shut because I didn't want to risk their friendship, and I was sure my mom would think I'm delusional if I said anything.
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He groped me for the second time, and on the third time, he made me touch his penis. I was shocked and scared when he tried to do it again. I screamed that day.

After that, he stopped his advances. Later I joined the MBBS course. I don't know what happened but I couldn't study. I was always a bright student and the high scorer in the family. I went into depression and tried committing suicide instead.

Since I couldn't take the pressure, my family took me home, took great care of me supported me and finally, I cleared my exams. In that time, my so-called uncle came again to ask how I was. Even in that state, he tried to make advances which I denied.

During the holidays, I did a lot of thinking. And after reading #metoo, I talked to my closest friend and my cousin sister about it. For the first time, they advised me to tell my parents and finally, I told my dad about it.

My father cut all the ties with him but I still am traumatised by it. I cry sometimes or get scared whenever someone touches me. I am too careful about my safety now, but it's very difficult for me to trust anyone now. I easily get scared. My father doesn't know that it has scarred me but I'm grateful to my father who supported me and believed me over his friend.

Editor's Note:

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