He Couldn’t Marry His Exes Because Their Kundlis Did Not Match: Then It Was My Turn

Anonymous Anonymous in Culture Shock on 25 December, 2017

I am 24 years old and I have been working for over three years now. I met this guy at my workplace. He was my supervisor. After a month, we started interacting a little. Slowly, we started going out and then began dating regularly.

He changed his flat and I moved in with him.

We were in a live-in relationship and everything was great between us. I was happy to have him in my life. Everything seemed so perfect.

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He had already told me that his parents were very particular about matching kundlis before he got married. He said that he would never go against them if our kundlis did not match.

I was a little shocked because I had no idea about all these astrological aspects.
As time passed, he told me that he would not let this happen with him again. He said he would not let go of me. I believed him.

We did have a lot of issues too but we always sorted them out. But one day, I came to know that he was still talking to his ex-girlfriend. He had been in a serious relationship with her.

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When I asked him why he was still talking to her, he said that they were just friends now. I believed him again.

But I started becoming paranoid. I just happened to check his phone one day and to my surprise, I found that his ex-girlfriend's parents and his dad were meeting to discuss their kundlis and marriage. I was shattered and did not know how to react.

I confronted him but he told me that his ex-girlfriend had wanted to check if their kundlis matched. And he had let her do that because he already knew that their kundlis did not match. I had only one question for him: what if their kundlis had matched?

He told me this would not have happened and even if their kundlis had matched he loved me now.

It took me two days to get back to normal but I forgave him for it. Things were fine again. My birthday was around the corner when I noticed that his behaviour was changing. He wanted to say something but he could not bring himself to tell it to me. I asked him what the matter was. He said, "I will tell you about it after your birthday." I tried to make him tell me about it but it didn’t work.

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After my birthday, he told me that our relationship had no future because our kundlis did not match.

He tried to stay away from me but I couldn’t stay away from him. I convinced him to be with me and he promised me that he would talk to his parents about me. I don’t really know if he ever discussed it. Both of us tried to stay away from each other again but we just couldn’t. So we were back together.

His parents were already looking for alliances and he was talking to one of the girls too. But he never told me about it.

I found out what he was doing on my own and I was really shattered when I came to know about it. I saw the chat that he had with his sister. It said, “I am dating her.” I was angry and left his place. He tried to contact me again and convinced me that he would not let it happen. He said that he would talk to his parents.

He then said that he needed me to be by his side so that he could talk to his parents about us. I was convinced.

So I went back to his place and things were fine between us now. But now another ex-girlfriend came into his life. He had not been very serious about her. He did not talk to me as much as he used to earlier. He spent most of his time talking to her. I heard about all his link ups from his colleagues.

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I could now see that he was no longer the same person.

He wouldn’t talk much and he didn’t kiss me or do anything else like he normally did. I tried asking him if there was anything between them now but he always told me that there was nothing between them.

I believed him again.

He was now transferred to a different city and he had to leave in 15 days time. 3-4 days back, I noticed that he had sent a text to his ex-girlfriend in which he said, “Baby, I miss you. I miss you like hell.” I had nothing to say. I kept crying.

I burnt the diary that I had given him. He was mad at me for reacting this way and called me a psycho for doing this. But I was a fool to forgive him again.

He kept texting me and telling me that I was taking things in the wrong way. I believed his words again. Before he left, I asked him if he would be okay with a long distance relationship. He told me that he really loved me and that he would continue to be with me in a long distance relationship.

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But after he left, he started ignoring me and did not talk much. He told me that his friends were coming to meet him for a couple of days. He then said that his ex-girlfriend, the one whom he had been serious about, was also there with them. I tried to convince myself that there was nothing wrong with it because they were just friends now. But he did not talk too much with me on those two days. But he was fine after they left. But slowly we stopped talking.

I was tired of taking all this s**t. I too stopped trying to keep in touch with him. But he kept in touch with me whenever it suited him.

One day we blocked each other. He has unblocked me now. But he still features on the blocked list of my contacts. We had been in this relationship for 10 months and I still hope that things will be fine. I hope he will change someday. But will he ever change is the question that I ask myself.

Author's Note:

I don’t know what to do. Was he right in doing what he had done? Or was I really a psycho for burning the diary that I had gifted him or for behaving and reacting like that? Please give me the answers to all my questions - they haunt me!

Editor's Note:

We often lose our mental and emotional balance at crucial junctures of our lives. When we love someone with all our heart we choose to ignore the reality. Before we forgive others, let us learn to forgive ourselves. Do share this story because this young girl will surely regain her confidence when she realizes that she needs to love herself completely before loving another person.