I’m a sincere girl. I’ve only focused on my studies, enjoyed playing sports and had enough friends to keep me company through my childhood. I never thought about love, or what it could mean to me. But my world was my books and my ranking, nothing else.

I opted for a chartered accounting course for which I joined a coaching institute to prepare for the entrance exam.

After finishing my entrance exam, I began my course of CA and soon, this took over my life. It was during this time, that I created an account on Facebook. I added almost everyone I could think of, from old friends to family, to my new friends from the institute too. During this time, I kept getting a friend request from an unknown boy. I kept rejecting this because I had no idea who he was. This went on for quite some time.

Almost a year after I had declined his request, I realized that he was in my class. And so I accepted it and we began chatting. He had a lot of questions to ask me, about my education, family, financial status, past relationships and so on. Slowly, I began opening up to him about everything and answered all that he wanted to know.

He began showering me with compliments, liking all my posts and after a while, even asked me out.

Of course, I politely refused. But this didn’t stop him. In fact, he took things to the next level.

He wrote poems to me, lovely ones, about what I mean to him and how much he cares about me. I couldn’t hold myself back from him any longer and told him that we should first think about our future, before we think about us, together. We should focus on finding a job, earning enough for a comfortable lifestyle and so on. But even as I kept telling him these things, I was falling in love with him.

There was just one small problem, we had never met before.

I tried to make plans to meet him, but he would always find an excuse to cancel or refuse.

It took a lot of convincing from my side to finally get a picture of his. I still remember how fast my heart was beating when I set eyes on him. He was extremely good-looking and had a lovely smile. Soon, we decided to meet.

One evening spent with my family, looking at my house and probably even just me, he stopped texting me and began avoiding my calls.

Slowly, I sank into depression. We had common friends, so I would ask them how he was and what he was doing. I kept trying to stay in touch, but none all my tries went unanswered.

And just like that, he walked out of my life. No replies, no clarifications, absolutely nothing.

A few months passed and I was living my life in a blur. Nothing seemed to excite me anymore and going out with friends was just a chore. It was around this time that a new guy slowly made his way into my life. We became friends quickly and he was kind and funny, almost everything that I thought I’d be looking for in a guy. He never pressured me to take things to the next level, but was patient, even when he asked me out and I said no.

I tried to forget my past, but honestly, it wasn’t something that I could do easily. And this frustration used to come out on him. It took me a while to change my behavior towards him. I stopped looking for similarities between him and my first love.

Around this time, a friend of mine asked me if I was completely over that guy. I told her that I never knew what went wrong, but it was probably meant to happen for a reason that wasn’t strong enough for us to keep our love intact. She told me that she knew the reason, and if I wanted to know, she’d tell me. Of course, I wanted to know, even though I was sure that I wouldn’t let it bother me. I wish she hadn’t. He started distancing himself from me because of who I was and the family I came from.

Religion and my financial status was what caused him to leave me.

That’s when I realized that I was wasting my time, energy and more importantly, my love on someone that left me without even having the courage to tell me these things.

It’s been three years, and this new guy is still patiently waiting. We’re best friends right now and he understands that I need to take things slowly because of my past.

He tells me that he loves me and he’d wait for as long as I needed to move on from all of this emotional stress. I don’t reply to these comments by him but I know that he’s an honest guy and will keep me happy.

It’s sad that I had to lose my first love in order to find real love but I’m grateful that I met the man I’m going to marry because of it.

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