It's Really Strange That One Failure Turned My Bestie Into A Completely Different Person

Anonymous Anonymous in Your Story on 14 March, 2018

I am a student of medicine. I am a shy girl who befriended a guy from my college. I don’t exactly remember how it all started. Maybe we just started talking during our lab hours once. He talked about his family and the kind of life they lived in their hometown amongst various other things.

We became friends over a period of time and got into the habit of chatting at nights. We had not yet got around to talking in person though we met every day in our college. I started trusting him when we chatted.

I found it easy to confide my innermost feelings to him because I was not interacting with him directly. I normally never shared such details with any of my other friends.
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Slowly we started calling each other. We talked about our past, our present etc. We became close to each other. I loved him and thought of him as my ‘bestest’ friend ever. I knew that he too loved me and cared for me.

He was a good person and I became stronger as a person with his support and care. He made me feel so special.

Unfortunately, my group of friends didn’t like him at all. But I loved my bestie and all my other friends too. I did not want to lose out on my bestie or my group of friends.

Soon it was time for all of us to write our first-year exams. And once they were over, we all went to our respective homes. We would converse with each other every day. One day we just decided to play ‘truth or dare.’ While we were playing the game, he asked me if I had told anyone about his faults. It was such a dreadful question to ask. I realized that I had indeed shared a few of his flaws with my group of friends. He already knew the truth. So I accepted the fact that I had shared a few of his flaws with them.

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He said he already knew that his friends did not like him but he didn’t care too much about it. He loved them even though they despised him.

He said that he had stopped hating everyone in this world from the moment I had started loving him. I was very happy when I heard this and started admiring him now.

We started texting each other every day after that. He loved to talk about science and stuff like that. I enjoyed listening to him and we became closer as friends.

Soon it was time for our first-year results to be declared. I was shocked when I realized that I had failed in one of my subjects. That day I did not feel like texting him.

But he texted me and consoled me a lot.
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I just talked to him to make him feel good about it. I could not progress to the second year because I had failed in a subject. He had passed in all his subjects so he moved on to the second year.

I was really very depressed when all this happened. I returned to the college hostel and started preparing for my exam. I found it difficult to face my friends and my bestie too. I somehow expected that he would come to meet me when I returned to the college. But exactly the opposite happened.

He didn’t come. He didn’t text me. He didn’t even call me.

I was feeling very sad. I kept all my feelings to myself. I cried a lot. It saddened me to see him making other new friends. He was literally hurting me a lot but I did my best to overcome it.

I worked hard for my exam and cleared my paper. I too am in my second year now. But he is busy roaming around with his new friends now. For the first few months of my second year, I didn’t have the courage to face him.

I did not want to fake a smile when I saw him. So I would just walk off when he was around. It was very painful to do this. But I didn’t know if he still felt the same way about me.
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I guess he no longer cares about me because his actions prove this. I wish I could tell him how he continues to make me feel sad.

He makes me feel worthless.

But I know I will not be able to face him after seeing him with his new friends. It really hurts me but I am happy for him. I know he is happy with those people now. I can read this from his eyes. I just wanted to let my friend know that I love him a lot even now. I love him as much as I loved him earlier. I am happy for him and thankful to him for giving me such wonderful memories. Keep smiling my dear friend.

Author's Note:

I will always wonder about these things:

What was my mistake? Did he go away from me because I failed in one subject? Maybe such things seem childish and foolish to other people who have not experienced failure. But I feel this failure has changed me as a person.

I am scared of becoming close to someone. Every time I try to do so – my inner voice tells me, “Please don’t do this to yourself again. Stay back. Don’t put yourself down again. You will end up getting only pain and loneliness.”

I feel I ended up becoming the biggest loser in all this.

Editor's Note:

Failure is a very good teacher. We know the true worth of our relationships when we face a crisis. It may not be easy to overcome failure but eventually, we will all learn to confront the reality. Let's not fritter away our precious life trying to prove our worth to others. Let’s learn to fight our battles on our own. Do share this story if you too believe that it is more important to prove our worth to ourselves. Always.