Love Relationships friendship self-worth trust indian woman

If You Hadn’t Broken My Trust, I Would Have Never Known How To Love Myself First

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

Putting his six long years of relationship aside, he came up with his proposal to me. I was unable to come out from my previous abusive relationship and he didn't leave a chance to make me happy. Of course, my best friend he was. He bought me chocolates, cakes, ice creams, took me out, and sang songs for me.

I loved him but only as my best friend.

His proposal didn't make me happy. I rejected and assured him that all the messed up things between him and his girlfriend will come to an end. But, he wasn't ready to listen to me. Every day, he kept on saying 'I love you' and made new promises. He would give me hopes for a better future and most importantly, assured me to provide a beautiful life with him. He, in fact, went to my mom and confessed about his feelings for me. My mom liked him from the very beginning and so, she accepted. So did my family.

I couldn't resist him anymore and so I accepted his proposal. And with this began the new chapter of my life – ‘In a relationship with my best friend.’

Five months was a smooth sail. But then, things started to change. I noticed the change in his behaviour and the way he talked to me. I couldn't get a zest of it. Dance and acting are my wildest passions and since my childhood, I am into it. He, all of a sudden, asked me to put my lifelines aside and live a simple life from home to college and from college to home. Initially, I protested. But later, I agreed. I didn't want to hurt him. I cancelled all my dance shows and shoots only to keep him happy. But his arrogance knew no limits.

He stopped replying to my texts and calls. I grew impatient. I was not able to handle this amount of pressure.

One night, I don't know for what reason I felt like checking his ex's profile. I saw her last seen at 12:15 a.m. I went back and checked his profile. He too had the same last seen at 12:15 a.m. A kind of fear hit me. I checked his ex's profile again. It showed 'online'. Even his profile showed the same and when I texted him, he saw the text but didn't reply. This kept on going for three days.

And then, I received a text from him which read, "I am sorry for everything but this is over. You are not of my type and you don't belong to me. And yes, if any of your family members ask you about me, tell them that I am dead. Don't worry I will not put the blame on you. And please, don't call me anymore”. I broke into tears.

The one person who knew me well, who always talked about keeping me happy, who made long promises of not breaking my heart...broke me both physically and mentally.

I felt too helpless. The entire day I kept on talking with my girlfriends who tried their level best to console me. But it was all in vain. The same evening my mom came to me, hugged me and said that his family had already fixed his marriage with the one he called as his 'ex'. The news shattered me more. I cried. The entire night all the memories with him kept on flashing on my mind. Yes, he broke my heart and it did hurt me. But what hurt me more were his false promises to my mom, my grandma, and my dad.

Thankfully I got a supportive family who tried their level best to heal my wounds and my girlfriends too, who didn't give me a chance to regret.

And today, I don't regret choosing you because that made me who I am today. You gave birth to a girl who is too positive to be doubtful, too optimistic to be fearful, and too determined to be defeated. I am so proud of the person I have become. By breaking my heart, you taught me not to trust anyone. You taught me to love myself more before I start loving someone else. You taught me to fall in love with this beautiful life. I am pretty sure, you will regret your decision of ditching me but here, I will cherish the same decision instead, forever.

And lastly, as 'Dear Zindagi' says, “You weren't the right 'kursi' for me.”

I am sure, one fine day, I will definitely meet my cosy, warm, and comfortable 'kursi'. But till then, I will explore this beautiful life to the fullest.

And hey best friend, thank you for such a beautiful life lesson.

Share This Story

You Might Also Like...