I Used To Laugh Until My Stomach Hurt But Now All That Is Left Is An Ache

Richa Kumari Richa Kumari in Your Story on 30 May, 2018

“Too much of anything is poisonous”, said a very wise man once.

My happiest memories trace back to my childhood when my tiny little brain was equipped only to understand happiness and not people. The world just seemed like the small round earth in our colouring books. Every morning began with the rise of a smile and day ended with another bigger smile. You did cry but never felt the pain. But now I am an adult. In other words, I am apparently a full-grown body with a developed mind.

My books eventually taught me that the world is a sphere with a circumference of 24900 miles and my little balloon of reverie was burst.
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Welcome to the high-strung reality! Now I wake up with a task and a tensed face and go to sleep just tired. Tired of observing people, thinking about the existential crisis and many other “important” aspects of life. It is a scary world to live in. There is a baggage that you carry in your heart all the time. Words inflict the greatest kind of pain that penetrates your soul. History is a testimony, and no one has ever escaped the adversity of an insult.

Just like the time when I was a child, I still express two strong forms of expression: laughter and tears. While some comment “Don’t you laugh a little too hard”, others pinpoint, “You cry so easily. You are a crybaby”. I pause for a moment and just smile when they question my emotions. I have realized that they are the greatest treasures I have. Probably a greater part of the world doesn’t even have emotions left in them. As for me, at least I know when I feel happy and when I am sad.

My love lies in that hearty laughter and my strength lies in those tears I shed. It is me. It is the existence of the pure emotions, that I own.

Isn’t it quite a paradox that you grow strongest when you are affected? The fundamental fallacy consists in the expectation that you can keep everyone happy even when you are not happy. The magnanimity of acceptance in a person is an act of nobility. Like the game of chess, you lose all your pieces gradually but you save only one – your king. Save your most principled thought. While words can be hurtful, thoughts can be revolutionary. Fight your doubts, not people. Live for what you believe in and not what is preached to you.

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Like a pearl in its shell is my happiness, in my soul. It is not so easily found but you explore it till you discover it.

Concluding my less metamorphosed article with this thought: “It is all about the survival of the happiest, not the fittest”.

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