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How It Feels To Be In Love With A Married Man With 2 Kids: I Trust Him

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

We met at work. He was never the sort of guy I could imagine being with in my life. He wasn't good looking, neither tall nor dreamy, definitely not a guy every girl would crush on. But there was something else about him that was only for me. I could see it in his eyes. I thing it was his passion. Passion towards everything he did! We started off as office colleagues and then we became friends.

I later realized that he looked at me in a certain way, a way every girl craves to be looked at.

Unknowingly I started falling in love with him. I tried to stop myself initially since he was 10 years older than me but my heart wanted what it desired. We both confessed our love towards each other one night and that was it. We started our tiny little fairytale.

He was the guy I had been looking for all this while. Mature, intense, loving, caring. I just couldn't resist him. He was like no one I had dated before. He was a man, not a boy.

I should've guessed it myself. What we had was too good to be true. 

One day during a casual conversation I asked him about his past relationships. He told me he had a broken engagement. I was obviously shocked but I tried not to judge him because I loved him a lot. I was clearly not prepared for what was really about to hit me in the coming days. 

A month later when I was partying with some friends, his topic somehow happened to come up. Some of my friends knew him. During this conversation, one of them suddenly mentioned that they knew my boyfriend and he was married! I was scandalised. I somehow still trusted him, thinking that maybe my friends are referring to someone else who has the same name as him..

I called him that very moment and asked him to explain. He didn't defend himself or lie any further, he told me that it was all true. He was not only married but he also had two kids. I was shattered to bits. My fairytale became a nightmare overnight! All my dreams, expectations, future plans went for a toss! 

He then told me that he had a bad marriage. His wife was insecure, dominating and egoistic and so they both filed for divorce but the divorce had still not come through. 

So there I stood with a guy who was not only married but also had 2 kids and hopelessly, I found myself standing with him. Despite knowing the truth I decided to stand by him to get him out of his s***. That's how much I loved him.

He told me that we were secretive about our relationship for the obvious reason that if she somehow found out about us, he could be jailed. We all know that the Indian law can be pretty unfair towards men at times so I believe him.

I had to make the big decision of whether I wanted to continue this 'Secret Relationship' with him or have a single life again in the hope to find love some day. I chose him, chose him against all odds. I've made his problems mine and have decided to be a reason behind his smile. 

We do have our share of fights, misunderstandings, insecurities but I deal with them with a brave face every single day. I'm hoping that one day we both will be together in front of the world.

I dream of the day when we both will be proud of our little love story.

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