I have always been crazy about swimming, from my young age till now. I am a small town girl and my grandparent’s house is in a village. Very nice, quiet, and lively village it is. In my childhood, I was desperate for my village because there were my cousins, my grandparents, rivers, temples, land, the mango garden, the blackberry garden and much more. Playing with my cousins was my favourite task. Every morning, all kids went to a pond. There we would bath a lot and I tried hard to swim. My cousins always helped me to swim. Sometimes I would use a boat and try to float on the water but I failed.

One usual day, when all of us children went to the same pond, our eldest cousin came along with us. We were surprised to see him and everyone was thinking what his intentions were. But he only wanted to be our instructor for that day.

We were in our growing age, we never wanted to be with him. But we were compelled as he was elder than us. We reached the pond but we didn’t take off our clothes to start bathing. He continuously told us to take off our clothes but we were comfortable in clothes while bathing. So, we disobeyed him. Like every day, I started floating on the water with the help of the boat. My sisters were helping me to swim. Suddenly, our eldest brother jumped in the pond with his bare body. We got afraid.

He came near us and started giving tips to all of us, regarding swimming. I was very afraid to leave the shore of the pond. He started pulling me to come inside the deeper and deeper water level.

I resisted and tried hard to let go. All the cousins were shouting that he should not do this but he didn’t listen to anyone. He told them that he will take me in the middle of the pond where the depth of the pond is equal to the depth of seven bells. I was requesting and crying continuously to please not do this. My heartbeat was running fast like a bullet train. It felt like my last day on earth. Again, surprisingly he took me on his shoulder and swam faster to the middle of the pond. I was in terror, shouting and clutching his hand tightly so that I would not fall down into the deep water. In the middle of the pond, he closed my nostrils with his one hand and his nose by the other hand. He started taking “dubkis”, one, two, three and more and more. Whenever I came out of the water, he left my nose open to let me breathe. After that, he again repeated the same dangerous stunt. In every dubki, I shouted for help but nobody came. I was suffocating and it was tiring.

My body was unable to do anything at that time to rebel. I became silent on his shoulder.

He was continuously scolding me to shut up. And when I shut up, he came outside slowly, I was not unconscious but in great shock that why my elder brother had done this with me only. Till now, I am in trauma that why it happened to me only? Why was I the only victim? What was my fault that he had given that type of punishment to me? He is my brother and I respected him, but why? My other cousins were also unable to explain me why. I was so afraid that I remained silent at that time.

I was in shock. When some time passed, I tried to ask him why he had done that thing only with me? But he ignored and left.

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