He Loved Me At My Lowest, But Now I Wish He Could Have Done Better In Life

Anonymous Anonymous in Your Story on 27 February, 2018


Let's talk about Mr. Vamshi. He entered my life when I was a mess! I used to speak to random people on Facebook and flirt with everyone cause I was lonely. I had never got any love from parents and most of my friends had betrayed, hence I lost myself in this virtual life! This was where no one judged me for being fat and ugly.

I was ashamed of my appearance because of the people around me and cause of the facial hair I had.

I had just finished my 11-grade exam when a common FB best friend introduced me to Vamshi. He was pursuing engineering, never spoke to me and showcased a mean attitude. We always ended up fighting, if we happened to chat for more than 2mins. I was supposed to meet my FB best friend, for the first time in a mall and he had thought 'why not play cupid?'. He had had Vamshi come along with him and left us alone by making an excuse. We watched Agent Vinod and were thoroughly bored, but not even once did he behave indecently in the theatre.

We spent the entire day like we were childhood friends.

We were so comfortable with each other, as he never made fun of my appearance and nor taunted me for my weight. Soon, we had to head back and went to the metro station, where he boarded the train and I had to go upstairs to exit the station. I looked back, hoping to catch a last glimpse of him, while he was not looking. I could not see him, but he had seen me and that had sparked something in his heart. Thereafter, we spoke to all the time without fighting, became close and shared everything.

He was also very lonely because of various problems at home.

I used to hurt myself based on petty issues with my family, as I was in depression. Every time I thought about hurting myself or was abused at home, he would just message me, asking what has happened and if I was fine. This was creepy but felt magical as he could sense my pain, every single time and would stay with me to not allow me to harm myself.

Slowly but surely, I fell in love with him and confessed the same to him.

He assumed that I was flirting and thought it was a joke, which made me think I should have never dared to confess. After about 10 months, I could not bear the pressure of my feelings and hence shared with him that I loved him with all of my heart. He reciprocated my feelings the next day and then things became awkward between us. I kept insisting to him to come and meet me to clear things out. When he finally met me, he shyly proposed to me to be his girlfriend. Thus, began our fairy tale. We never fought and were very understanding towards each other.

Nothing could make us jealous of the other, as we trusted each other very much.

Soon, we both felt our behaviour to be stuck in the friend zone and that nothing like 'love' existed. Maybe, it was just infatuation! When I asked for a breakup, he cried as he told me that he will make me realize my love for him before new year's eve and boy! he did that. He never wooed me with gifts or lovely words, but rather by his actions and his unconditional love for me. I forgot to mention that we were in a long-distance relationship when there was no WhatsApp and only phones like blackberry existed. We still managed to be with each other and thanked our mutual friend for everything. He never crossed his limits and respected me the most. He has never abused me and never hit me, unlike my parents and brother. He loved his sister and mother very much and that showed how much he respected women.

Fast forward to 2016, when I completed my graduation with flying colors and got placed in an MNC.

He failed in engineering and dropped out. He was in depression and I was there with him. Around that time, he had made the mistake of trusting a girl, who had promised to get him a pass in all his exams, to give him a job and then took a lot of money from him, as well as from others on this pretext, but then ran away. I helped him pay all the money back to the other people, but even then, he would just feel bad and depressed all the time. He had made me feel strong and now, he had himself become so sad. He had wanted to start a business but his dad never supported him. When he joined his dad’s factory, the partners and his dad became jealous, of all the work he managed to do which all of them together could not do in years.

They had him fired because their labourers trusted him, more than they trusted the partners and his father.

At this moment, we are worried about our future, as I am 22 and he is 25. My parents want me to get married and he is sitting at home, for the last 2 years and doing an online business which is not yielding anything. He is a Kshatriya and an OBC, while I belong to a Brahmin upper caste family. My parents are well off, whereas he belongs to a small city. He is a college dropout, whereas I excelled in my studies. He doesn’t know English and my parents want a groom, whose qualities are exactly the opposite of him. For me, none of this matters because we love each other and for me, he is my everything.

I will fight for and with him, just to be with him.

My only condition for us to get married is for him to settle down in life and to start earning. This is the least I ask for because love alone cannot fill our tummies and I alone cannot bear all the expenses of our future. I hope everything turns out right because I can’t leave him. He accepted me when I was not good looking. For him looks never mattered, as he loved my heart and soul. For me, his quantum of income does not matter, but I want to see him settled.

I love him more than my own dear life!
Editor's Note:

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