To The Woman Who Says "A Woman Or Divorcee Should Not Break A Family": Read This Right Now

Urmimala Das Urmimala Das in Single Women Bad Women on 21 December, 2016

In third world countries, a woman’s character is decided on the basis of her sexual activities. Means, by how many guys she's had sex with. Hence, most unmarried/married women pretend as if they've never had sexual relationships in their lives. Most of them can't even imagine having sex with men other than their life partners. As an individual, how responsible a woman is once she's married to a family or how much of a social being she is doesn't describe her. At the same time, a woman’s eagerness to portray herself as ‘Sati’ (devoted to her husband at any cost, in any circumstances) is noticed everywhere.

From an ordinary woman to a celebrity, almost all women are in a race to establish the purity of their bodies.

Because, the society desperately wants to know. The most annoying part is that a majority among female writers is not ready to come out of their comfort zones of writing, ignoring such issues willingly. This is the reason, why author and human rights activist Taslima Nasrin doesn’t get support from her fellow writers. People of third world countries are not ethical enough to accept a strong woman's bold and honest personality and chain of thoughts.

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I have met many people (including women) who call her with bad names. Very few Indian female writers stood by her when she needed their support the most. Only fictional writer Late Mahaswata Devi was there with her when she needed strong support.

Let’s come to my own life now, for example. I've been through three relationships, including my married life (I'm a widow now). If I might add, with my present relationship, which is a long distance relationship, the count will probably go up. And who knows, maybe I will have more relationships in the near future. Does it mean that I'm a person devoid of ethics and morality? Neither did those relationships happen simultaneously nor was I engaged with multiple sex partners at the same time. Therefore, it cannot be tagged as "unethical".

If you want to call me immoral, you need to give me a valid reason for that. 

If a relationship doesn’t work, do we HAVE TO stop finding love? Of course, not. I would love to share something more about my personal life here. Few days back I did a short write up for a website.

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I raised my voice for sexual rights of a widow and divorcee through that write up. I got mixed open responses and hundreds of dirty inbox messages came to me through my Facebook account. I didn't bother about the "dirty messages" but I was shocked to read this one remark from a highly educated women.

According to her, while getting sexual rights, widow and divorcee should not break a family (most married women are good at giving moral lessons to widows/divorcees I guess.).

I don’t understand how she came to a conclusion that all widows and divorced women get involved with married men. Interestingly, she was completely mute about the males who break another woman's family. Secondly, she tried to enlighten me about the bad effects (health related) of having multiple sex partners at a time as I had mentioned that I'd not decided to get remarried despite being sexually active.

My question to her is — if a widow is not interested in remarriage but raises her voice for sexual rights, how does it give a signal to the readers that she's interested in multiple sex partners at a time? I hope you've got your answer here, dear woman.

I don't blame you, it’s our third world mindsets that need work here. Nothing else. 
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As a human being I'm quite optimistic and I want to become the voice of the oppressed. I've always dreamt of a society where women will be accepted and respected as individuals in their real sense. There will come a day when no woman will have to raise her voice for 'Gender Equality'.

People will decide the character of a woman on the basis of her contribution towards the society, not on the basis of her sexual life. And I strongly believe that such a day will come, sooner or later.