I am a 26 years old girl who has always believed in love. But since I was a kid, I have always wanted it to be an arranged marriage. I always felt that my parents understand me the best and I would come across my Mr. Right through them only. So I always felt committed to someone I never knew. And I still feel a very strong connection with my partner whom I have not yet met.
It's like he is there somewhere and we are going to find our way to each other someday.
Now here comes the twist. My parents and a few relatives decided to fix me up with a guy. He was all nice and everything seemed rosy. We spoke to each other for a few days and I was 200% sure. That he was definitely not the one.
I felt insecure and suffocating even while I spoke to him.
For the initial bit, I decided to keep it to myself and not tell anyone, simply because I thought that it's my first relationship and maybe that's how things work. I have always been very strong headed and practical when it came to taking any sort of decisions. But here I was in a fix.
Things didn't seem to work out because I found him to be extremely rigid, narrow-minded, and dominating.
It was like life was giving me signs from Day 1 that he can't be the one.
I walked up to my parents and told them that it wasn't working. Being the best parents in the world that they are, they gave me a smile. Said its okay and informed the guy's family that we weren't compatible. They trusted me and have always been my strength. I still remember dad saying, "So what if it's an arranged marriage. We are never going to get you married to someone you don't like.” I thanked my lucky stars and moved on. This was 4 years back. Since then I have received countless proposals and rejected most of them.
For the rest, either our horoscopes didn't match or we wanted very different things from life.
Here again, I have received yet another proposal. But this time I need someone to help me. And I want it to be an anonymous someone so that I can have an unbiased opinion. Let's call him Mr X. I received the proposal via a matrimonial website and declined it because I felt our profiles didn't match. However, after a few days, he sent it across again and his mom called my dad. Aunty took my number. And said she would ask Mr. X to get in touch. The next day, dad asked me if at all I spoke to the guy and the answer was no. He never called. I decided to ping him on Whatsapp and the entire conversation ended up being all about his business and all he wanted to know was about my business.
I have always wanted someone in my life who lets me decide whether I want to work post marriage or not.
And no, I am not illiterate. I am an MBA from one of the premier institutes of London. Even on the second day, he didn't bother to call or Whatsapp. And again, he talked about my business sales and the property my dad owns. Yes, he is financially really sound and I come from a similar background. But still, I am not interested in the money.
I do want to get married to someone who is financially stable but that doesn't mean he has to be a billionaire.
Somewhere deep down, I again feel that he is not the one. But with the endless number of guys I have been rejecting, I suddenly felt an urge to ask someone. "Am I being too harsh? Too demanding? All I ever wanted was someone who is interested in me. Not having any male friends has its disadvantages. Maybe anyone of you out there can help me. If the guy is way into the business and that's why that's all he has to talk about and I am being paranoid for no reason. Or, am I right yet again and he is not the one? Even if I try and divert from the business a bit, the conversation ends up at the same and I am back to square one.”
I will be waiting for your response. Please help me out as a friend.