I have an elder sister, a younger one and a twin. I always wondered why my parents chose me, out of all of us, to be sent to a village. I was only twenty days old when they sent me far away from them, to my grandmother. I was sent away because my mother could not take care of all three of us. But I still don’t understand why only I was chosen to be sent away.

Although, they did come to take me back after a few years, but by that time I didn’t want to leave my grandmother. She had become my world and I didn’t even recognise my parents. When I grew up, I came to know that it was in fact my grandmother who had asked my father to take me back as she felt like my life would be better in the city. Otherwise, my father may never have come back for me.

Life was not easy for the two year old, who was suddenly shifted to a new place, among new people. It changed me in a way that I never learnt how to ask my parents for anything. My youngest sister was their favourite child and every nice thing went to her, even if it belonged to me. My first school bag was given to my younger sister, just because she liked it and my mother gave me her old, used bag instead.

When I was only 11 years old, my dad asked me to learn how to cook, because my mother was busy with her job, my elder sister had her board examinations and my younger sister was well, too young for it. So, my twin and I were left to do all household chores. I was asked to look after my younger sister, even though she was only a year younger to me.

My father never bought anything for me, and even when he did, the best things went to his favourite child. I was always handed leftovers, be it my first cycle or my first phone. It was like my parents only bought new things for their eldest and youngest daughters and ignored their twins. Even though we felt bad at being treated partially like this, we never said anything to anyone. 

My dad loved anyone who was good at studies, and maybe he didn’t love me and my twin because we were weak in studies. I tried to do well at school, hoping that it would get my parents to love me a bit more. But, I was wrong. Sometimes, parents don’t realise how favouritism can destroy their child’s inner peace.

My father used to threaten me that he would send me back to the village if I didn’t score well in school. He never motivated me to do better. Time passed like this and we started with our college. Even during graduation, I used to live with my elder sister at the hostel and do all her work. When my elder sister got married, my younger sister started living with me at the hostel.

Once again, my parents told me to look after her. Just like I used to wash her school uniform, I now washed her college uniform. My parents asked me to cook food for her because they thought the food available at the canteen was too oily for her. So I would cook my sister’s food and do all her chores, like her personal maid.

Even then, every time my father used to visit us in the hostel, he would bring things for her and never for me. Every time he came visiting, I would busy myself making poha and chai for him and my sister.

One day my dad called me and asked me to get a photograph clicked for marriage. I told my mom that I didn’t want to get married, even though I knew she probably wouldn’t do anything about it. But for once, I hoped that she would understand me and let me take my own decision. But she told me that they couldn’t wait for me and I had to get married. Her words shocked me and I resolved never to expect anything of her, after this incident. 

When I first saw the man my parents had chosen for me, I didn’t like him. But everybody convinced me into agreeing for the rishta by saying that he was a nice boy, from a good family. They said that looks didn’t matter and what was important was that his family was ready to marry me, without asking for dowry. So, I got married. But I had a bigger surprise in store for me, after the wedding. 

I came to know that my parents had lied to me about not giving any dowry. But what hurt me more was the way my father had described me to my in-laws, to convince them into marrying their son to me. My father had told them that out of his four daughters, I was the quiet one. I never demanded for anything, didn’t have any particular favourites in food too, but could cook everything.

He tried to sell me to them by saying that I was happy with leftovers.

I felt so angry when I came to know about this. Till now, I had thought my parents were innocent of playing favouritism among their children. But after hearing what my dad had to say about me, I felt that he was aware of how I was treated and yet chose to continue with it. I was angry that he noticed how impartial he was towards me, and yet didn’t try to change anything. 

I understood then that he had asked me to study only to claim that I was educated enough while marrying me and to get rid of me right after graduation. Today, all my sisters are earning, while I am just another housewife, who works day and night for her family and has no other identity of her own. Even I had dreams and wanted to achieve something in life, but I couldn’t do so. At no stage in life did I get anyone’s love and care.

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