We met in a hush hush arranged marriage setup, where everything was decided by parents and that too very quickly. It’s like we met on Sunday with families and on Thursday, we were engaged.
When I spoke with him after the engagement, he asked me – are you happy? I said I am happy that you’re happy! That paved the way for our marriage.
In our 6 months long courtship period, I only got to know that he was a perfect example of mamma’s boy and loved dancing to the tunes of his family.
As the wedding date was coming closer – which was 14th November – Children’s day - the child in me was getting lost. The little angel of the family, ladli of the house and my grandparents was feeling lost in these 6 months.
The D day finally arrived and I got married to him, with all rituals and customs, I went to his place, his house. Well, you might say I should call it our house, no it was his house only, and you will get to know why soon.
There was nothing wrong in his house, they didn’t hit me, he used to take me out for weekends. We had servants to cook and clean.
I was okay with all the silks and jewels, but not with sitting idle – I was not allowed to work, not allowed to decide what needed to be cooked, not allowed to go to the gym, no western clothing, a strict line of doing for “Ideal bahu” had to be followed.
And when I sought my husband’s support, it fell into deaf ears, I was told that I knew nothing about running the house, his mother had done it for 35 years. "It’s our house and we know it better than you!"
In his house, we were 3 ladies who were the corners of the triangle, who didn’t agree with each other on anything, which lead to umpteen fights and in that Bermuda triangle, my marriage was lost.
At night, my husband and I would fight over household matters and I used to cry most nights in my bed thinking, "can’t he see my tears? Can’t he feel that these verbal attacks are not only on me? It’s on US."
At the end of our 4 years of marriage – all we were left with was a SEX less, childless marriage with a hell lot of household disputes and a depressed me. One fine day when he returned from his friend’s wedding and said he wasn’t happy with me and wanted a divorce- hell broke upon me. I was shattered and wondered what had happened.
We did have a tough marriage, but we were still working on it. With his divorce statement, a whole new set of struggles started for me. For a year I tried to make things work with him, but to no avail and we filed for divorce with mutual consent.
I assumed him to give me a good alimony which will support me but he denied that too. I didn’t want to fight this and stall my life in the court case.
Today, after one good year of divorce – I am the Head of Design in a corporate firm — earning Rs. 75k per month, Last week only I got a 20% raise.
I have booked a car for myself now. I’m taking Zumba classes and have already lost 30 kgs. I cook on weekends, run painting classes for kids, and party even harder.
I sit with my family and plan to take a holiday alone very soon.
I am happy he left me and happier that he didn’t give any alimony to me, because if he did, I would have never worked so hard to earn my own bread and butter, and live my own life like this. I just want to thank him for letting me fly away from his house and life. And helping me find me!