My Ex Boyfriend Asked Me To Prove My Love To Him By Making Out: This Is What I Did

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 16 May, 2017

As a child, I saw my parents fight and argue often. Growing up, I just wanted a happy and peaceful life. I had heard that young, first love for most people is innocent and naïve, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that it would turn out so ugly and bitter for me.

I was 17 years old and had just finished my 10th class board examination, when I first fell in love.

I was staying at my mama’s place during the holidays, in a small town near Nagpur, when I met him. He was friends with my elder brother, but was the same age as me. It was love at first sight. I don’t know what came over me, but I just wanted to be with him. And yet, I was scared to propose to him. So, I spent my holidays just laughing and playing with him. They were the happiest days of my life and soon it was time for me to go home.

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Even when I was back home, I couldn’t control my feelings for him. But there was nothing I could do. A month later, I got a missed call from an unknown number. When I called back, I was surprised to find that it was him. Back then, neither of us had a personal number, so he gave me his father’s number and a specific time to call.

Initially, we started talking as friends. But soon, we came closer and then one day, he confessed his love for me. I had always been in love with him and my feelings were the same for him since the beginning. When he said that he loved me, I felt like the happiest person alive.

That’s how we came together in a relationship. By this time though, we had both started attending college. He used to go to a different college in his city, while I used to study in a college in mine.

It was a long distance relationship, yes, but I didn’t have any problem with it, because I was quite clear that I would have a physical relationship with a man only after marriage.

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But, as time passed, I came to know that he had proposed to me only because his friends had challenged him to and he only wanted to get physical with me. The day he asked me for it, I refused and eventually even broke up with him over it.

Two months later, he called me again and told me that he felt guilty about all that had happened. He promised that if I accepted him back, he would never force me again. I was happy to know that he had changed and accepted him back into my life. Then one day, he got drunk, called me and started crying over the phone. He had some issues with his father. I tried to calm him down, but nothing seemed to help. It was then that he asked me to do something I had never imagined he would. He asked me to put my fingers in me.

I felt my heart stop beating when I heard this. But, I thought he was too drunk and out of his senses to realise what he was saying and so I tried, once again, to calm him down. But he wouldn’t listen to me. I decided I wouldn’t lose my self-respect and cut his call mid-way. That didn’t stop him, he kept calling me again and again, even though I was continuously cutting his calls. I understood then that he would continue calling me until I responded to him.

So, I took his call and lied to him that I had done what he asked me to do. I felt so angry with myself after having said this.

I couldn’t help but wonder, why did I do something I hated? Did I even deserve this guy? These and many more questions kept swirling in my mind, but despite them, I didn’t want to leave him. I thought time would heal everything and tried to put this episode behind us.

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But our relationship kept getting bitter with every passing day. Now he didn’t request me to touch myself, but ordered me to do it. I kept lying to him. My meekness emboldened him and he began demanding worse things -- two, three and even four fingers. He even started asking me to moan and let him know how I felt after touching myself. Did being in love mean doing all this?

I was upset over all this and wanted to break up with him, but somehow I didn’t have the guts to do so. And maybe he sensed my fear too, for he decided to meet me and forced me to look for a room where he could make out with me. When I refused, he started blackmailing me. He said that he had recorded all our calls and if I didn’t do as he pleased, he would send them to my mom. I was horrified and scared, but I decided to be brave, for once, and told my mother everything.

At first, she was shocked. She scolded me and shouted at me, but it was nothing compared to the blackmail and torture I faced at his hands. After a while, my mother calmed down. She then called him and scolded him. She even used foul language to teach him a lesson. A week later, he apologised to me, but I told him that even if I forgave him, I would never get back with him. And so, I parted ways with him.

Even after all this, he continued blackmailing me. I stopped replying to him, altogether. In fact, I changed my number and made sure that he couldn’t get in touch with me.

After this incident, though, I found it hard to trust any boy. I spent every day blaming myself for taking his shit. But like it always does, time healed my scars too.

Today, I am happily married to a man of my dreams. I have learnt that sometimes we think that it is impossible to live without our lover. They may not deserve us, but we stick to them and our toxic relationship with them, fervently hoping that things would get better. At this point in our lives, we are unable to decide between right and wrong. We are so desperate that we do things that hurt us, only to make the other person happy. And deep in our hearts, we fear that if we don’t do it, we will lose this person we love.

But we fail to understand that true love will stay with us, for who we are, without any condition and any demand. And most importantly, any person who loves us will never force us to do something we don’t like.