Dear Ex-Husband, I'm Sorry I Failed To See The Psychopath In You

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 14 September, 2017

Dear Ex-Husband,

First, you deceived me to into dating you and then getting into bed with you.

You made me have an abortion. You promised me that you’re my ‘forever’ and will always be. I was so naïve, I believed every word coming out of your mouth. Further, you and your family, deceived me into a fraudulent marriage: one with no rituals or commitment. After this, you tried, in every way imaginable, to extract dowry from my family- even with the blatant threat on my life.
Your crocodile tears made my heart bleed.

I took care of you, as a mother would, her child.
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From oiling your hair, to cleaning up after you; until you began abusing me. I was blinded by your love and this clouded my judgments when it came to you and your family.  

I failed to recognize the psychopath in you. I gave you my soul, and you abused it well. Your filthy mind games drove me insane and taught me only to blame myself. You succeeded: I tortured myself.

It’s tough, to love the person who hurts you, haunts you: you want the abuse to end, but not the relationship. Most importantly, I didn’t want the sacrifice of my baby to go in vain; of course, to you, this was a long-forgotten joke.

Your ideal girl suddenly became an object of boredom for you. It took my denial for an abortion to get you to change your thoughts on my from, “a genuine girl” to “galat ladki” – your cold words still pierce the air around me.

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I was too late, to understand your mind games. Your love, more importantly, my poor child’s love, forced me to live this torturous life with you.

You robbed me of my right to cherish the memories of a first love.

I won’t ever be able to say that I had an amazing boyfriend… that you were everything a girl could dream of. After all of this, for my sanity, I tried to forgive you and your family, but you didn’t let me forget. You reopened my wounds and poured in more than salt. I’ll never forget the night you forced yourself on me, and took away the one part of me that was truly, only mine to give.
You said it was a ‘token of trust’ for my future husband, who, unfortunately, was you.

Every morning, I wait for the sun to shine upon me, to show me light, guidance, a new path- but all I see, is You. And the darkness that follows you; rather, the darkness, that IS you.

I am tired of fighting this battle. You have ruined enough of me, physically and mentally. I am tired.

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I am tired, but do not mistake this for weakness.

I give you no power.

I give you only forgiveness.

I ask that you leave my life, because I know that I am worthy of love again.

Leave. Now.

Yours,

The Ex-Mother Of Your Child.