As If Suffering Abuse From My Own Family Wasn't Eough, I Continue To Suffer At My Husband's Home Too

Anonymous Anonymous in Single Women Bad Women on 18 October, 2018

I am J, an introverted small town girl who went through so much of emotional abuse as a child, as a teen and even after that. Apparent reason? I wasn’t as beautiful as my elder sister was and was not skinny and fair like her. It was mental torture that I was facing in my life from the day I gained understanding.

Everyone in the family, including my parents, my elder sister and all the relatives felt that I will get nothing in my life, they were not even sure that I will get married.

They also predicted that I will live in poverty as come on, ugly girls are never married in rich families. We were a middle-class family with the intention for my sister to get married in a very high profile family as she is beautiful. So my only resort was studies which I was brilliant at. No one supported me financially so I took up a course of CA as it is not required that I have money for that, it would be my own efforts and wow I cleared that and got a placement as well in MNC in Bangalore. But then everyone was surprised that my sister was married off to a middle-class guy only, and she was not a career woman. My life changed suddenly from an extremely introverted person to a girl who was full of dreams in her eyes for a good life and a promising career.

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I have never been in any kind of relationship before and now people started approaching me but I wanted a life where my other half is permanent, which meant marriage so I opted for an arranged marriage.

After seeing a few proposals on a matrimonial site, I was talking to a person of my interest and he was also there for marriage and a serious relationship. We chatted and met a few times and then decided to meet with our parents. And both sets of parents were super happy for us. Our wedding got fixed after the respective families did background checks.

Those 5 months of courtship were an absolute delight for me. I felt my whole life had turned into a fairy tale and God had given me everything after patiently praying to Him and doing my best in life, by his grace.

But my happiness was very short-lived. After my marriage happened, the worst days of my life also started. I have no issue with my husband but with his sister, my sister-in-law. I have never seen such a woman in my life. She insults me for everything I do in front of the whole family, and the worst part is that my mother-in-law supports her in all this. My husband was of the view that everything will get settled eventually but it never did. I had my child after 2 years of our wedding but nothing changed. I felt that maybe she will change but she hasn’t till date. It’s been 10 years since my wedding and a year back I lost my mother-in-law. She had changed after a few years of my marriage but she could not change my sister-in-law and her opinions about me. She would still insult me, would not talk to me and make faces in front of all our relatives.

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I feel very bad when she does that, despite the fact that I respect her, give her all the things she wants and help her whenever she is in need.

She always talks to her brother and other people at our home, her father, my child, but not me. I want a suggestion, what should I do with this behaviour? I give her respect and get insults after that. Should I maintain a distance now for my own self-respect? Please help.

Editor's Note:

Share this story. My two cents to the writer would be to stop focusing her energy on someone that disrespects her because the moment you show them you're above their trivialities, is the moment they start fumbling with their behavior.